How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days
by YaoiKitten
Summary: Ritsuka and Soubi has been together for years, but their relationship still hasn't gone in 'that' direction. If anything, Soubi seems more distant now than when Ritsuka was twelve...
1. Day 1

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How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days

Day 1

By YaoiKitten

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For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.

Ritsuka had recently developed the annoying habit of chewing on his pencil. It had started sometime during the beginning of his tenth year of school that he had noticed that he had picked up the habit. The taste of treated wood filled his mouth for weeks and he was beginning to get splinters from writing out his assignments before he switched to pens.

Pens were so much nicer. They didn't have that bitter taste, didn't give him the feeling that he had been gnawing on cheap, press-board furniture all day. They didn't develop that rough, pockmarked surface before slowly starting to splinter between his teeth. Pens were smooth and plastic, something that he could chew on that was a bit tougher than the pencils. He could gnaw on them until they were crooked and deformed, their sharp angles pricking against his tongue, their ink ejaculating into his mouth.

It was a habit he had to break.

Ritsuka stared at the innocent little pen, nestled so comfortably in the groove of his hardwood desk that was covered with nicks and scratches from years and years of use. Graffiti was scribbled and scratched into the surface of the varnished wood, proclamations of love and hate throughout the years as well as the affirmation of one's existence with the occasional 'So and so was here.' In one corner the name 'Soubi' was scratched into the wood in cursive English, with a heart instead of a dot over the 'i'. He was annoyed with himself. Philosophy was his favorite class of the day and he couldn't even pay attention to it.

He picked up his pen and started to chew. At least then he could think.

Slowly, one by one, the kids in his classes had begun to come to school without their ears. He could remember the first one who he had seen in eighth grade, a little red-faced girl who came to school with her eyes downcast and wouldn't look at anybody the whole day. Ritsuka had noticed that she wouldn't speak to anybody but her closest friends in muted whispers and giggles.

After that, when he had entered high school, the numbers had increased. It seemed that practically every week one or two newly de-eared students would arrive at school. Some would come to school with their eyes downcast and blushes on their cheeks while others would hold their head high and proud, not afraid to announce to the world that they had become an adult. At this point, now in eleventh grade, about half of the students were adults.

The last straw for Ritsuka, though, had been when Yayoi and Yuiko had come in a couple days ago without their ears. Yuiko had been as vapid and bubbly as ever, talking to everybody loudly and laughing at everyone's jokes. Yayoi, on the other hand, had been quiet and reserved the whole day, watching her from afar and wishing that he could join in her jubilance, but his sense of propriety preventing him from it.

Yuiko had no sense of propriety at all, Ritsuka thought.

No one ever said anything, of course, when a student lost their ears. The teacher would go on as if nothing had happened, and the students were forced to tear their eyes away to pay attention to the lesson. Anyone caught staring too long would be sent out in the hall. After a couple days, the air would clear of the unspoken buzz and life would resume to normal until the next adult came to class.

Ritsuka's ears twitched. He shouldn't let it bother him, he knew that. After all, Seimei had been seventeen when he had died, and he had still had his ears. In retrospection, knowing Soubi, it was a miracle that Seimei even still had his ears.

Ritsuka tried not to allow his thoughts to go in that direction. He didn't like to think about what kind of relationship Seimei and Soubi had had. Soubi never did say much about it, or offer any details, unless Ritsuka asked. Ritsuka was too afraid of the answers to ask the right questions. His stomach churned when he thought about Soubi wrapping his arms around his older brother much like he did to him on occasion.

Of course, those occasions were becoming increasingly rare. It seemed as Ritsuka got older, Soubi pressed him less and less for physical contact. It had been a relief, for a while, that Ritsuka didn't have to deal with the physical aspects of his and Soubi's relationship. He knew he wasn't ready, but Soubi had seemed to enjoy pressing him just hard enough to make him question his readiness. It didn't really take much, just a few stolen kisses or short snogging sessions could take his breath away and cause tremors to go through his young body.

But things had changed. Soubi had seemed to back off a bit with each passing year. They still spent a lot of time together, they still went on dates and outings with their friends, there was still a romantic mood about them. They were a couple, and everyone knew it, including themselves. They had been ever since they first met and went to the park to take all those photos. Sure, they had had a tumultuous relationship for that first year or so, an on-again-off-again love affair on Ritsuka's part mostly, but they had always and consistently been together.

What was missing was passion. It seemed that Soubi had lost the desire to be with him like that. With the exception of holding hands occasionally and chaste kisses, they hadn't made any progress with each other. He still treated Ritsuka as if he was twelve, if he hadn't treated him better when he was that age. What could have made the man slack off so much?

"Ritsuka?"

Maybe it was because he was getting older. Perhaps Soubi really was a pedophile and Ritsuka was just getting too old for him. Perhaps soon he would go and find someone younger.

No, that couldn't be it either. Seimei was the same age as Ritsuka when he died, after all.

"Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka snapped to attention and he realized that the teacher was calling on him. He rose up out of his seat quickly, a natural reaction, really, and his chair balanced precariously on its hind legs. He reached back quickly to steady it before it fell over, keeping his eyes on the teacher the whole time. He took the pen out of his mouth.

He paused dramatically for a moment before asking "Can you rephrase the question, please?"

Oh yes, he had been paying attention the entire time.

Fujimori-sensei, his philosophy teacher, smiled. "Based on your readings from last night, how did Kantian philosophy reconcile sense experience and rationality?"

Ritsuka paused again, acting like he was collecting his thoughts before speaking. He didn't want everyone to know he hadn't been listening at all. He could taste ink in his mouth so he wiped his lips with the back of his hand. It would be so embarrassing to have black ink dribbling from his mouth.

"Kant amended Hume's treatise by saying that space and time are prerequisites for understanding sense experiences and that they are faculties of our perception and understanding. He said that causation is 'synthetic apriori,' a causation of our understanding. He called this transcendental deduction, that we need both empiricism and rationality."

Fujimori-sensei looked taken aback. "What a very thorough response, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka took his seat. He knew Immanuel Kant like the back of his hand and he hadn't even bothered to do the reading last night. He didn't know why Fujimori-sensei was surprised that he answered the question, he knew he was good at this stuff, that's why he always seemed to call on him when employing his Socratic-method of teaching. Maybe the teacher had realized that he hadn't been paying attention after all.

Yes, the annoying pen habit had to stop. He also had to stop agonizing over Soubi so much. Maybe Soubi really had given up on him. That couldn't be it, he knew, because their relationship was so good in so many other ways.

He knew, fundamentally, about the triarchtic theory of relationships. You had to have intimacy, passion, and commitment. They had intimacy, they even had commitment. That word, passion, is what his mind kept returning to. They didn't have passion and he still had his ears and his tail to show for it.

Soubi didn't have his ears. He had been an adult for the entire time that Ritsuka had known him. Soubi still, to this day, never talked about it. Ritsuka just tried not to think about it, just like he tried not to think about Soubi and Seimei being together.

He wondered if there was a way to surpass both Seimei and the person who took Soubi's ears. He wanted to, he wanted to be the most important person in Soubi's life now and forever.

He looked around his classroom at all the earless heads, and his own ears twitched in annoyance.

The bell rang to signal the end of the day, and Ritsuka gathered his stuff together. The pen he had been chewing on was little more than twisted plastic now, and he threw it away in the trashcan on the way out the door.

Stupid pen.

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Soubi had gotten into the habit of waiting for him everyday after school. Even though Ritsuka was now attending high school with a much larger number of students, he could still find Soubi waiting outside the school gate, smoking a cigarette and just generally looking cool in his candy-pastels and jewel-toned eccentric wardrobe– just like the first time they had met.

Ritsuka rushed outside and practically ran through the crowd of departing students, haphazardly wrapping a scarf around his neck and trying to get his other arm into his jacket at the same time. He skidded to a halt just outside of the gate, and his messenger bag heavy with books knocked against his hip.

Soubi took a long drag on his cigarette and glanced over at Ritsuka. The younger man was looking a little disheveled, a little out of breath and flushed, so he couldn't help but smile. So cute. He released the smoke out through his curled lips.

"Ritsukaaaa-kun!" Yuiko yelled as she hurried across the front lawn. She launched herself at him, and he barely managed to side step so that she landed on nothing but thin air.

"O-Oi!" Ritsuka yelled, slightly annoyed by her trying to glomp onto him like that in front of Soubi.

"Hey, Soubi-san!" Yuiko greeted him, bouncing up with her usual cheerfulness.

While Yuiko had been taller than everyone else at the age of twelve, she hadn't grown an inch since then. Even Ritsuka and Yayoi managed to pass her up in terms of height. No one though in their class had passed her in terms of her assets. She still floated through the world totally unaware of her buxom body, and she still had those annoying pigtails that made her look so young. She had barely changed in the years that Ritsuka had known her.

"Did you have a good day at school, Yuiko-san?" Soubi asked, reaching out his hand and patting her on the head. "Oh. There's something different up here…"

"You're not supposed to mention that!" Ritsuka exploded at him, stalking forward and grabbing the cigarette out of his hand, stomping it into the pavement until the red embers faded to black. "Do you have to be so vulgar all the time? And I thought you're supposed to quit smoking!"

Soubi smiled his patient smile and ruffled Ritsuka's hair. "I am quitting."

"You're still smoking!"

"It takes time."

Yayoi finally caught up to the group. He doubled over, out of breath. "Yuiko-san! You didn't even wait for me!"

"That's because Soubi-san is here to pick Ritsuka-kun up and I didn't want to miss seeing him," she said, looping her arm through Soubi's.

"Yuiko-saaan!" Yayoi whined, tears welling up in his eyes. While he had also grown taller and was beginning to look older, he still acted like a kid sometimes. He pulled his hair back in a low ponytail now, and that helped him look more mature at least.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka looped his arm through Soubi's other one. Soubi was wearing the plum fur trimmed suede coat that Ritsuka secretly loved him in. He liked the feel of the fabric under his hands. "Do you have to work today?"

He nodded. "I just came to pick you up during my lunch break. I have to go back after I walk you home."

Ritsuka frowned. He had been hoping that Soubi would be off today.

"Well, we don't want you to be late!" Yuiko announced, veering Soubi down the sidewalk. Since Ritsuka's arm was still linked with Soubi's, he was pulled along too. "Let's go, Yayoi!"

Yayoi trailed behind the group, looking a little put-out.

Yuiko chatted everyone's ears off during the walk home, telling them all about her day and the newest mishap that she had in her Home Ec class. Soubi, as usual, was very polite and interested in her candy conversation while Ritsuka and Yayoi listened to them talk in silence. They both felt like they were outsiders at times like this since they really didn't have anything to say to contribute to the inane conversation.

"Aw, already?" Yuiko whined when they reached the corner where they'd have to split up to go each their separate ways.

"Afraid so," Soubi told her, slipping out of her grasp and navigating Ritsuka in the direction of his house. "We'll see you tomorrow, Yuiko-san."

Yuiko waved at them, her breasts swinging with each movement. "Bye Soubi-san! Bye Ritsuka-kun!"

"Bye," Ritsuka yelled back over his shoulder. He saw Yuiko grab Yayoi's arm and drag him down the other road, out of sight.

He turned back to Soubi and glanced up at him. Their arms were still comfortably interlinked. He had grown taller, but still wasn't as tall as Soubi. The top of his head reached past the older man's shoulders, and his hair had grown out a little bit longer to brush against his collarbones. When he worked on his computer, he liked to pull it back out of his eyes into a ponytail at the back of his head like Soubi.

"You're always so nice to Yuiko," Ritsuka said, his eyes never leaving the pavement. It's not like he was jealous or anything like that.

"She's a nice girl, and very innocent," Soubi replied. "Er, was very innocent."

Ritsuka's head snapped up, but instead of getting mad he only blushed.

Soubi pretended not to notice. "Yayoi is missing them too," he began conversationally. "Same day?"

Ritsuka nodded, his mind returning to his thoughts earlier that day.

"I see."

The rest of the walk home passed in silence, each man in their own little world, with their own thoughts to keep them company. Soubi stopped at the front gate, he never liked to walk Ritsuka up to the door. Ritsuka thought it was probably because he was either afraid of his mother, or afraid of what he would do to her if he saw her. Ritsuka was sporting a gauze bandage on his upper arm that Soubi still didn't know about.

"Can you come over later tonight?" Ritsuka asked when they got ready to say goodbye.

"I have my late class to teach tonight, so I won't get done until around eleven," Soubi explained apologetically. "I really shouldn't."

"I understand," Ritsuka told him. "Tomorrow night then?"

"Sounds good," Soubi leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.

When he turned to leave, Ritsuka reached out and grabbed his hand. Soubi turned back around, raising an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Ritsuka fought the urge to look sheepish. "Another kiss?"

Soubi pulled him close with a hard yank of his arm and planted a searing kiss on his forehead. Ritsuka fisted his hands in the fur of Soubi's coat, half out of frustration and half out of swooning. He realized that he wasn't going to get much more than that unless he took some action.

When Soubi released him, Ritsuka kept his hold on the fur of the coat. He looked up at Soubi. They were so close. He raised onto his tip toes and pressed his lips firmly against his, using his mouth to coax open Soubi's and slide his tongue delicately into the other man's mouth.

Soubi jumped back as if he was bitten by a snake, it had surprised him so much he couldn't help his reaction. He stared at the younger boy, his fingers hovering a few breaths away from his lips.

Ritsuka's heart thudded painfully. He hadn't expected him to have such a volatile reaction to his advances. He forced himself to smile, though, playfully and flirtatiously before turning around and walking up to his front door, leaving Soubi to stare after him as he left.

After a performance like that, what could he possibly say?

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Author's Note: This story takes place five years after the end of the Loveless TV series. I have only read the first two volumes of the manga as of writing this, so I really don't know if it contradicts the manga's ending or not. It is my understanding that the manga hasn't ended yet, but will soon. If it coincides with the end, then great, if it doesn't, consider it an AU .

Also, I have never seen "How to Loose a Guy in Ten Days" and would rather pluck my eye out with a spork than see it. It served as a good title for my purposes, and nothing more.


	2. Day 2

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How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days

Day 2

By YaoiKitten

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For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.

Soubi, much to his credit, was moving up in the world. He was no longer hanging around elementary schools anymore, but got to stand in front of a large, expansive high school gate. It was nice. He could blend in easier, not get so many strange looks from women walking by. As Ritsuka got older, he had even managed to shake off the stigma of 'pedophile.' Standing in front of the high school was almost like something tangible to prove it. Ritsuka was all grown up now, mostly at least, and Soubi could finally not feel like a pervert.

Not that he ever did really feel like a pervert. Just as a person's self-concept is shaped by the concepts that others have of them, Soubi was beginning to vicariously believe that maybe he was a pedophile. Only he didn't like younger kids in general, he just liked Ritsuka. Maybe a better term to describe him would have been 'Ritsukaphile.'

Soubi snorted. He always thought of the silliest things while waiting for the younger boy to get out of school.

He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and thumped them absentmindedly against the palm of his hand. A slender, white stick popped out and his long fingers pulled it from the pack. He placed it between his lips and fished around for his lighter, finding it in his coat pocket and lighting up the cigarette. The smoke filled his lungs when he inhaled, and he let out the warm, chalky smoke from between slack lips.

He really was trying to quit. It was just times like this, when he was waiting or didn't have anything else better to do, that he liked to smoke. He didn't smoke at home when he was painting or hanging out with Kio. He managed to refrain from smoking when he was teaching classes all day at University. He even purposefully stayed inside instead of going out with the other students who smoked so he wouldn't have the temptation. He never smoked when he went out with Ritsuka in the evenings, or when they went out on weekends. The only time he ever smoked was in the afternoon when he was waiting. He had been working on the same pack for almost a week now, so he thought he was doing pretty good.

Of course, he liked it when Ritsuka came out of school and glared at him, tearing the lit cigarette from his fingers and stomping it into the ground in a huff. Ritsuka always looked so cute when his nostrils flared and the color came to his cheeks when he was angry. He would yell at him and order him to stop. Soubi loved that.

There was a lot to love about Ritsuka, and Soubi felt his words becoming truer and truer with each passing day. It was no longer a spell to form a bond when he said 'I love you'- It was coming from the depths of himself now, from everything that he was.

That was one thing that Soubi had done for himself, without any orders from anyone. He had, of his own free will, fallen in love with Ritsuka. He had never expected to, but he couldn't help it.

Ritsuka had originally been his only reason for living from the beginning, the promise that he had made to Seimei prevented him from joining him after his 'death.' No, he couldn't die until he had taken care of Ritsuka in his brother's stead. Ritsuka, though, was the only reason why he KEPT on living.

They were fighter and sacrifice now. They were together. They were lovers.

No, they weren't lovers. Not physically, at least.

There really wasn't a need to be. As they got to know each other better, as they had gone through everything together over the course of the years - all the fights, all the personal issues, all the drama - there became less and less need to form the bond physically when so many others were being formed socially, emotionally, and psychologically. He and Ritsuka had reached a level where a physical connection paled in comparison to what they already had, so physical affection had naturally become a frivolous luxury to him.

It was a frivolous luxury that was driving him crazy.

While he had managed to back off, to give Ritsuka the space he seemed to so desperately need, it had not lessened his desire any for the boy. He worked hard to be satisfied with just holding hands and snuggling and occasional kissing. He didn't want to pressure Ritsuka at all, to scare the boy with any new physical sensations to confuse his already hyper-active and frazzled emotional senses.

Satisfied but never satiated.

Until yesterday. Until that kiss.

Soubi exhaled and a warm shiver ran through his body when he remembered the feel of Ritsuka's silky kitty-tongue sliding into his mouth of its own volition. Soubi had been so surprised, so startled, that he had almost bit the poor little thing off. It was completely and totally unexpected coming from Ritsuka.

He hadn't expected his desires to hit him as abruptly as they did yesterday. He had been patient. He had been kind about it. One little kiss, however, sent him over the edge. He had squelched all those feelings down when Ritsuka was still just a kid, barely on the cusp of puberty. He had suffered through the boy's growth support, not really trying to pay attention to Ritsuka getting taller, the voice getting deeper, the body becoming more muscular and toned. He had ignored the way that with each passing day he was becoming more and more like Seimei.

No, not like Seimei. Never like Seimei. Ritsuka was Ritsuka, and he never forgot that.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up when he heard the bell ring to signal the end of the school day. He looked at his cigarette, half-gone, and debated if he should light another one before the boy could get outside and see him not smoking.

No need, there he is.

Ritsuka's cheeks were flushed as he came running out of the gate and skidded to a stop when he saw him. Soubi smiled and took another drag, letting the smoke fill his lungs and warm him from the inside.

No matter how old Ritsuka got, he still remained adorable. His hair was loose and constantly flying around his face and there was something still unkempt and slouchy about his clothes. He was beautiful without any effort, and as he walked over to Soubi, his coat thrown on haphazardly over his sweater and jeans and his messenger bag slung over his body, he looked positively lovable.

Soubi pulled him into an embrace as soon as he was in reach and gave him a solid hug.

"Hey, not in front of school!" Ritsuka protested, looking around at his fellow classmates looking back at him.

"I couldn't help it, you're just too cute." Soubi refused to let him go.

"You're still smoking," Ritsuka pointed out. He eyed the cigarette dangling from Soubi's fingers. He leaned over and Soubi thought he was going surprise him by taking a drag, but instead Ritsuka bit his index finger hard enough to leave marks.

Soubi yelped and dropped the cigarette. He let go of Ritsuka and brought his hand to his lips, nursing the little wound.

Ritsuka smirked and ground the flame into the concrete with his sneaker.

"Soubi-san, are you okay?" Yayoi asked as he and Yuiko joined them.

"What happened, Soubi-san?" Yuiko asked, trying to get a look at his hand.

"Ritsuka bit me," he said indignantly. He looked directly at the culprit. "The little fink."

Ritsuka smiled unremorsefully. "When we get to your place I'll make it all better."

Soubi raised an eyebrow at this but let his lover take him by the arm and lead him down the street, out of the flow of human traffic.

"You don't have to work tonight, right?"

"No, my classes end early on Tuesdays."

"Lovely."

Soubi allowed Ritsuka to tug him along while Yuiko chatted amiably beside him. "So what are you guys going to do at your house, Soubi?"

Soubi thought he saw Ritsuka's face redden out of the corner of his eye. "I'm not sure. Probably just make something to eat and relax."

"Oh, can Yayoi and I come too? I love your cooking, Soubi-san!"

"Yuiko, didn't you promise Yayoi that you would go to the arcade with him after school during lunch?" Ritsuka interjected.

Yuiko stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and Yayoi practically ran into her. She looked back at him. "Did I?"

"Yuiko-san! You don't remember?" he whined. The hurt expression on his face was enough to make Ritsuka roll his eyes. Soubi caught it and smirked.

"You did," Ritsuka said.

"I forgot."

"Yuiko-san!"

"Ritsuka and Soubi should come too!" Yuiko exclaimed. "We can all go and have fun!"

Ritsuka's eyes were hidden by his bangs, but Soubi still picked up on the annoyed twitching that his ears did. "Ritsuka, are you not feeling well?"

Ritsuka turned to look at him. He blinked.

Soubi leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Ritsuka's to check his temperature. "He seems a bit hot, I should probably just take him home."

"Ritsuka-kun, are you all right?" Yayoi asked, real concern in his voice.

Ritsuka looked to Soubi. He didn't really want to lie to his friends, but he didn't want to go along with them either.

Soubi smiled and scooped the other boy up into his arms, carrying him like a bride across the threshold. "I'll just take him home and put him to bed." Ritsuka was a lot heavier now, but Soubi was still strong enough to pick him up and carry him for a block or two.

"I can walk!" Ritsuka protested.

Soubi turned and walked down the street in the direction of his apartment. Ritsuka's commands and shrieks of 'I order you to put me down!' faded into the distance.

Yuiko stood in the middle of the sidewalk, still looking after them. "Do you get the feeling that they just blew us off?" she asked.

Yayoi looked at her. "What makes you think that? Ritsuka has been distracted lately, the flu or something would explain his behavior."

Yuiko turned and stuck out her tongue. "Women's intuition!"

Yayoi's eyes went as wide as saucers. "Yuiko-san, you have that?"

"Of course." Yuiko bopped him on the head and ran down the street.

Not seeing much else to do, Yayoi ran after her.

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Soubi pulled the keys to his apartment out of the pocket of his fur and suede coat. Ritsuka stood a little off to the side, waiting to be let in. "You could have let me walk, y'know," he was lecturing. "Especially since you were the one who faked my fever, you should have let me walk."

"I wanted to be convincing." Soubi opened the door and stood back to let Ritsuka in first.

"People were staring. All you did was draw more attention to us."

He pulled the door shut behind him and took off his coat. "They acted like they had never seen two people in love before."

"Well, you usually don't carry your loved one around like that."

Soubi looked at him.

"Er, in public that is," he amended.

Soubi was silently pleased that Ritsuka had not stammered and protested when he mentioned them being 'in love.' Soubi still expected to be reprimanded for any kind of forward behavior like that. He wondered if the reason why Ritsuka had fought his proclamations of love so much was because he had known subconsciously that it was a spell. While Ritsuka still hadn't told Soubi 'I love you' outright, he no longer protested or bristled at the fact. At this point in their relationship, those words had become obsolete. They knew what they meant to each other and didn't need to use spells anymore.

Ritsuka had taken off his coat and shoes and sat on Soubi's bed. The one room apartment was large and spacious, with the bathtub and sink along one side and the toilet tucked away into a little closet that recessed into the wall. Wood paneling encased the loft apartment and made the whole space feel warm and woodsy despite having no privacy. The glass doors that led out onto the balcony offered the room a lot of light. Soubi's kitchenette was along another wall and his bedroom furniture jutted out into the middle of the room from another. He had bought a television set and game console to keep Ritsuka occupied when he was over and various paintings that he was working on were scattered along the edges of the room, leaning up against the walls.

Soubi no longer painted butterflies and flowers. His paintings had turned expressionistic and abstract, a complete one-eighty from the traditional fine art paintings he had learned in college. The splashes of bright colors across the canvas did form butterflies and flowers sometimes, but they were intermixed with figures and places, fire and water.

Soubi's bed was always covered in the finest of linens- pastel blue four-hundred thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets and a silk duvet cover embossed with paisley swirls. Ritsuka fingered the fabric beneath his hands, pinching and pulling at the creases in the silk while he studied the painting that Soubi was currently working on. It was two figures scratched into the setting of an abandoned warehouse. One seemed to be talking on a cell phone while fire seemed to be sprouting from the feet of the other figure and a streak of bright blue seemed to float across the canvas.

Soubi set about to prepare some tea, putting water into the machine and pressing tea leaves into tea balls to seep in the hot liquid put out at the push of a button. He set the teacups on the low table in the kitchen and came to sit beside Ritsuka.

"So what do you want to eat?"

Ritsuka looked up at him, startled, tearing his eyes off the painting. He hadn't even noticed that Soubi had sat down, he was so deep in thought.

"Food?" Ritsuka asked, focusing his eyes on Soubi. He seemed to be staring at his lips.

"What would you like to eat?"

Ritsuka's eyes never left Soubi's lips. "You're the one who's cooking. You decide. Beggars can't be choosers."

"I can make anything you want," Soubi told him.

"Not if you don't have the ingredients."

"If it's for you, I can do it."

There it was. The slight flicker of Ritsuka's eyes up to meet his own. Soubi leaned forward and kissed Ritsuka quickly, soundly on the lips, leaving only a breath of warmth behind. "I can for you."

Before he knew what was happening he found himself flat on his back with his legs dangling over the edge of the bed. Ritsuka was on top of him, half lying on him, and nuzzling into his neck. One fist was clenched into the fabric of Soubi's shirt, the other slipped into his hand and their fingers intertwined.

"Oh, okay," he said. "If you want to cuddle."

Ritsuka bit Soubi on the neck, on the spot of skin just above the bandages he always wore.

Soubi winced inwardly but didn't react. "Would you stop biting me already?"

A moment passed with no reaction. Ritsuka still kept his face buried in Soubi's neck. He soon felt Ritsuka's tongue lapping at the place he had bit.

Soubi clenched his fists tight at his sides. Did the boy honestly not know what this was doing to him? It was getting harder and harder to control himself.

Ritsuka pulled back enough to look Soubi in the eyes. His face was bright red as he leaned down and touched the tip of their noses together. "Soubi, I-"

"SOU-CHAN!"

Ritsuka sat bolt upright. His ears pressed down against his head and he turned to the door. Soubi was surprised he didn't see him hiss.

"Sou-chan, I brought… Oh, 'tsuka-chan is here." Kio stopped in the doorway, a plastic bag in his hand. He was always used to just walking into Soubi's apartment, he never knocked. Part of it was because he was hoping that one of these days he'd catch Soubi changing or taking a shower in the bathtub.

Ritsuka stood up and stalked over to Kio, grabbing the plastic bag from his hand. He peered inside. "Beer? Good. I need one."

Kio watched as Ritsuka popped the top and took a long chug of the frothy liquid. He looked to Soubi, who had sat up and was sitting on the bed. "Did I come at a bad time?"

"We were just about ready to make dinner," Soubi explained, standing up. "I forgot you were coming over."

Ritsuka rolled his eyes and finished off the beer. It tasted like piss in his mouth. He grabbed another.

"Hey, leave some for us!" Kio told him.

"You can always get more."

"Do I have any requests for dinner?" Soubi was already at the sink washing his hands. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair was pulled back from his face into a ponytail.

"Minced chicken and shaved Burdock root pasta."

"Well, aren't we specific," Kio said. He was putting the beer into the refrigerator to keep it cold until dinner and discourage Ritsuka from taking anymore.

"It's been a while since I made that," Soubi said thoughtfully. He dried his hands on a dish towel. "What made you choose that?"

Ritsuka came and put his arms around Soubi's waist from behind. He leaned forward so that he could whisper in his ear.

"I need to train my tongue."

When Soubi turned around to look at him, Ritsuka and Kio were already in the corner hooking the gaming console to the television and arguing over who was going to beat who at what game.

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__

Author's Note: For those of you who've been wondering what I've been up to lately, I've been working on my own original stories for a while. I'm getting back into fan fiction though, so expect more from me in the future. I do plan on finishing up 'Open Wide' as well. . My original work can be read on my live journal, the link is on my info page. I update there about every two weeks and my readers get new chapters first before they're posted here. Comment and I'll friend you. .


	3. Day 3

****

How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days

Day 3

By YaoiKitten

****

For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.

Ritsuka still went to see Katsuko-sensei on Wednesdays. He now went once a month, though, instead of every week. The sessions were no longer about trying to integrate his Disassociative Identity Disorder, but simply allowed him a place to talk about his life and the things that bothered him. His mother still hoped that one day the 'original' Ritsuka would come back, but even she had lost enough hope to reduce her costs to only one session a month.

Ritsuka truly looked forward to seeing Katsuko-sensei on the first Wednesday of every month. It was one hour that he could relax and talk, work through his thoughts and discuss the various things that he had learned that month. It was more conversation than therapy. Also, at some point, she had started treating him like an adult and teaching him more things about himself and others than he ever thought was possible. The more he learned, the more he realized how much he didn't know.

Ritsuka always had an antsy feeling on those days, he could barely stay in school. He wanted to fly out of the doors as soon as the bell rang, the confinement of the drab building feeling as though it was closing in on him and he'd never be able to get out unless he ran.

The usual feeling of elation filled him when that final bell rang. He never really watched the clock or thought about it during the day, but he always looked forward to the end of school. He liked learning and he loved books, but he also loved running outside into the freedom of the open air and seeing his friends. Soubi was out there, after all, always waiting for him.

Ritsuka ran to his locker and pulled out his coat and bag before rushing to the nearest exit amongst the sea of teenagers. He hated crowds and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. He made a bee-line for the exit, getting jostled and bumped by a hundred bodies lumbering under the weight of heavy books and after school activities.

He burst through the door like someone drowning and dying for air. The smell of Tokyo and sunlight assaulted his senses dulled by the classroom. He was down the stairs and across the lawn before the tide of students made their flee from the building. There was Soubi, by the gate, waiting for him.

Ritsuka slid to a stop. "I see you've finally quit smoking," he said, noticing that there was not a single cigarette in sight.

Soubi held up his finger that was wrapped melodramatically in a little piece of gauze, tied into a bow. "I didn't want you to get violent on me again."

Ritsuka smirked. "One more bandage and you'll look like I did as a kid."

Soubi reached out and placed his hand over Ritsuka's upper arm, directly over the bandage he was hiding under his clothes. "You are still a kid, sometimes."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ritsuka laughed, but it was kind of strained. "In case you haven't been paying attention, Soubi, I've grown up. I'm not a kid anymore."

Soubi didn't say anything.

Ritsuka snapped. "Look at me, Soubi! Don't tell me you haven't noticed!" His voice fell into a near whisper when he noticed that he was drawing attention to them. "Look, I'm as tall as Seimei was. I look just like him! So why can't you… why can't you…"

"Ritsuka is Ritsuka," Soubi told him calmly.

"And Seimei will always be Seimei," Ritsuka retorted. He could feel the tears stinging in his eyes. "So I can never be his substitute for you then?"

Soubi's eyes went wide in a rare show of emotion. His mouth worked wordlessly for a moment before Yuiko rushed up and glomped onto Ritsuka from behind.

"Get off!" Ritsuka yelled, whirling around to knock her off.

Yuiko stumbled a bit but kept her balance. Her expression was obviously hurt. "Ritsuka-kun?"

Ritsuka hesitated. "Look, I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry." He turned to run off down the street.

Soubi reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him around to face him. Ritsuka had a sudden sense of déjà vu. "I'll walk you there."

"No need," Ritsuka told him, pulling his hand free. "Go and keep Yuiko and Yayoi company since I can't!"

Soubi watched as Ritsuka ran down the street and gradually grew smaller and smaller until he turned the corner and was out of sight. Yuiko put her arm through Soubi's and Yayoi, who just joined the group and caught the tail end of their conversation, came around to his other side.

"Do you want to go and get some coffee with us, Soubi-san?" Yuiko asked cheerfully but delicately.

Soubi really wanted to run after Ritsuka, but instead he nodded. He let Yuiko pull him down the street and listened to her chatter about her day.

An order was an order, after all.

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Katsuko-sensei's office was dark and sort of depressing when Ritsuka arrived. The woman was typing notes from her previous session into her computer when he peeked his head through the door.

"Sensei?"

"Ritsuka?" Katsuko swiveled in her chair to face the door. She smiled in the dim light. "Come on in and have a seat."

Ritsuka entered and put his backpack on the couch. Kasuko-sensei reached over her desk and opened the blinds to let more light into the room. "I'll be with you in just a minute…"

Ritsuka nodded and took a book from his messenger bag – Freud's _Interpretation of Dreams_. He carefully placed it back on the bookshelf that filled an entire wall of her office. After a few moments of perusal, he grabbed another from the shelf. Jung's _The Undiscovered Self_ was tucked neatly into his bag.

"From the master to the protégé is it?"

Ritsuka sat down. "I just want to see the difference. I don't believe that Frued is as crazy as everyone makes him out to be. I think they just don't understand."

"Oh?" Katsuko-sensei turned to look at him. She was done with her computer and the screen behind her showed its usual screensaver of hypnotic circles and squares swirling into some psychedelic pattern beyond recognition, a digital Rorschach of sorts.

Ritsuka had spent hours staring at that screensaver. "How so?"

"Well," Ritsuka began, settling into the couch and getting comfortable. He crossed his legs and looked at Katsuko-sensei as he talked. "First of all, Frued's interpretation of our libido is very misunderstood. The word has been transformed to refer to sexual appetites instead of the pursuit of pleasure that Frued meant it as. Labido is a very nihilistic thing, it's the force that drives us to do everything. It has very little to do with actual sex, but since libido is associated with sex in modern culture, thanks to Frued, people say that he's all about sex."

"Well, you have to admit a lot of what he wrote was sexual in nature. Like how dreams stem from sexual dissatisfaction."

"There's more to life than sex," Ritsuka said thoughtfully. "Our dreams don't stem from sexual dissatisfaction, but rather from sensual dissatisfaction. It is a depravity of our senses that dreams exhibit."

Katsuko-sensei blinked, clearly taken aback. She was constantly shocked at Ritsuka's precociousness. "Go on."

"Well, everything is a sensual experience for me. We use our senses for everything, but very few people are aware of it. I think I'm hyper aware of these things, because I feel that the world is a very sensual place." Ritsuka blushed. "I've learned to be so excited by it, so enthralled with people and smells and tastes. I'm hyperaware of everything and really enjoy it."

"You're the type of person who drinks of life."

"I'd much rather swim in it."

"So this hyperawareness is what allows you to think that way." Katsuko-sensei smiled. "You've grown so much. There was a time where you didn't want anything to do with sense experiences or life."

Ritsuka smiled. "Yeah, and I couldn't sleep then either. Then I started to dream. Dreams where I craved the sense experiences I was just beginning to have."

"And now?"

"I don't dream anymore. Not that I remember, anyway."

Katsuko-sensei looked at him. "Do you really believe that you have had all the sense experiences you are going to have?"

Ritsuka pulled his knees up to his chest. This was the way it always went, idle conversation and witty banter eventually turned the focus onto him, on what he was feeling and everything he was going through. She always knew exactly where the conversation was going.

"Well, there's still the obvious."

"Which is?"

He tugged on one of his ears. "Sex."

He watched as Katsuko's eyes flickered from his face up to his ears. His tail swished in annoyance against the back of the couch.

"So what about sex?"

"Well, I haven't done it yet, obviously."

Katsuko smiled and twirled her new wedding band around her finger. She had never really talked to Ritsuka about his sex life before. "Is that a problem for you?"

Ritsuka shrugged. "It's peer pressure, you know. I'm the only one of my friends who still has theirs."

"Well, didn't you have a teacher one time who still had hers?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to be lumped in with Shinonome-sensei." Ritsuka grimaced at the thought. "I know it happens. I just don't want it to be me."

Katsuko smiled. "I don't think anybody plans on being celibate for the entirety of their lives, Ritsuka. They just need to find the right person."

Ritsuka's eyes narrowed in thought.

"Oh." The lightbulb went off in Katsuko's head. "How are you and Agatsuma-san doing?"

Ritsuka sighed and laid his cheek against his knees. The denim felt cool under his skin. "Same as always. He still treats me like I'm twelve. No, he treated me as more of a lover when I was twelve."

"You don't think he's lost interest, do you?"

Ritsuka's eyes perused the bookshelves. "No, why would he still be with me if he'd lost interest after all these years? Besides, Soubi and I are special, we're not exactly like other couples."

Ritsuka's eyes seemed to be turning inwards, looking at something in his mind that Katsuko could not see.

"Have you asked him?"

"Huh?"

"Ask him. Ask him what he thought about taking your relationship to a, uhm, more intimate level. If you don't talk to him about sex, how are you supposed to know how he feels about it?"

Ritsuka shrugged. "I guess I figured that after five years he'd just get so frustrated he'd finally tear all my clothes off and take me or something."

Katsuko-sensei blushed at the thought but didn't react. She was used to Ritsuka being brutally honest and straight-forward with her. "Well, from what you've told me about Agatsuma-san, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who expresses his emotions very much."

"He's a master at keeping it all inside," Ritsuka agreed.

"Exactly."

He lifted his head and stared at her. "My God, why didn't I see it?"

"You were probably too focused on adjusting to your new life that you just forgot or didn't think of it until it mattered."

"That still doesn't explain why he backed off though! That doesn't address why he changed!"

"Maybe it's because he knew that you couldn't grow as a person if he didn't let you think about who you wanted to be?"

Ritsuka sulked. "Is this that whole cognitive therapy thing you were talking about?"

"I call this more 'real life' therapy. I'm not pulling any psycho-mumbo-jumbo on you. We're just talking here."

"I know." Ritsuka smiled at her. "I appreciate it."

Katsuko paused. "So do you really not dream?"

Ritsuka looked a bit shifty-eyed.

"Because if your theory is correct," she held out her hand to inspect her nails, polished her wedding band with her finger, "then you should still be dreaming. You should be dreaming of Soubi-san all the time, since he's the one sensual experience you seem to be lacking."

Ritsuka sighed. "That's the problem Sensei. As human beings gain more and more sense experiences, they crave more and more. It's like a… what's the word… it's like an adrenaline junkie?"

"Yes, someone who seeks more dangerous and dangerous experiences for the feeling they get when they do it."

"Yes, an adrenaline junkie. It's like you will never be satisfied, because there is always more to see, more to do, more to taste. You will always dream of satisfaction, but never get it."

"A very nihilistic thing," she quoted him with a smile.

"Exactly. The content of our dreams change, but we continue to dream."

"So you do dream of Soubi-san?" she asked again, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. There was nothing wrong with a therapist teasing their client a little, was there?

Ritsuka looked at her and realized he wasn't going to be able to lead her off the subject, which he had tried so hard to do. He couldn't just not answer a direct question like that either. He sighed. "All the time."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll talk to him about it." His voice was like a child finally giving in to a parent.

"I think you should. After all, if you start to dream of something else after you, uhm, talk to him, then it would prove your theory true, right?"

"At least to myself," he said softly. Again, he was turning inward.

"Do you want to practice what you are going to say with me?" she asked. "I'm sure we can work through some of your insecurities before you talk to him."

Ritsuka glanced at the clock. "I don't think we have the time, Sensei."

She looked at the clock and whistled. "An hour goes by so quickly… well, time's up kiddo."

Ritsuka unfolded himself from the couch and stood up, stretched. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Thank you so much, Sensei."

She came over and gave him a hug. He was much taller than her now. He hugged her back with one arm.

"You'll let me know how it goes when I see you next month?"

"Of course." Ritsuka smiled, one of his genuine, no-nonsense smiles. "I'm sure I'll have plenty to talk about next month."

They said their good-byes, and Ritsuka stepped out of the office.

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Soubi, like most fine art majors, had discovered that the only one for him to make a living was to teach. His art was never progressive enough, different enough, or shocking enough to break out in the Art World. He taught new students each semester the very same skills that he had learned in those very same walls. It was a measured, methodical thing, and he found that he was able to explain it quite well. The lectures were only ten percent of the class anyway, the other ninty-percent was cheering the students on while they painted - something he was never particularly good at so he never tried except for the occasional 'very nice' or 'lovely.'

Soubi was explaining the principles of color theory to a group of new students when the phone on his desk lit up. It was red.

He tried to ignore it, tried to continue teaching. The students didn't want to hear about this stuff anyway, they were just in his class to paint. His eyes kept wondering to the blinking phone.

"Excuse me," he told the class, and flipped it open. The students blinked at him. He went over to the doorway, just inside the classroom still. The class began to murmur behind him. "Hello?"

"Soubi?" Ritsuka's voice came over the line.

"Yeah. Did you get done at Katsuko-sensei's?"

"Yeah, just now." Ritsuka took an audible breath. "Look, I know it's your late class tonight and everything, but I just wanted to call and tell you just in case not to come over tonight. I have some things I need to do."

Soubi smirked. He had been planning to do just that. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I have some things I need to think about."

Soubi felt like he had been hit in the gut. A sentence like that could never be good.

"All right, Soubi?"

"Ritsuka, I love you." He was reaching, and he knew it.

Ritsuka smiled, but Soubi couldn't see it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Soubi."

Soubi clicked his phone shut after he heard the click on the other line. Some of the girls were giggling since they had overheard his side of the conversation. He returned to the front of the classroom as stoically as always and began to write on the board without really paying attention to what he was saying.


	4. Day 4

****

How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days

Day 4

By YaoiKitten

****

For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.

For Soubi, every Thursday was a late lunch with the Zeroes. He only had morning classes to teach on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Mondays and Wednesdays were his long days where he taught until late at night, but he had a lengthy break in the afternoon so that he could at least see Ritsuka. The weekends were completely free and also devoted to Ritsuka or group outings - he was fortunate that he taught painting classes and didn't have a lot of grading to do at home. He was able to keep his job and his home life separate, but he was still busy enough where he had to schedule in his friends.

So every Thursday he had lunch with Youji and Natsuo.

As the three of them perused the menu at one of their frequented cafés he listened to the other two squabble. They hadn't changed, not really. They were still the same selfish, unfeeling brats they were the day that he had come home to find that note on his kitchen table. A single verb was all it said. That was so like them. They didn't need any more, any less.

They were a little bit different, he supposed while trying to decide between the shrimp Caesar salad or a tuna wrap. They were seventeen now, all grown up. Like Ritsuka. They had shed their childish lolita clothes and long hair. They blended in with most young adults their age. Until they spoke, that was.

They had also, at some point, lost their ears. Soubi had no doubts that it was to each other, even though the boys never acted like it in public he knew that they were close. They shared the same name, after all, and were bred to be together. Being together for them was imbued into their genes, their very existence. Not like him and Ritsuka.

They were so natural, so comfortable with each other. They were like best friends, or brothers. They were so close they didn't need word spells or physical contact to form a bond. Like they had said before, they knew they could loose their ears at any time. Apparently, one night and a couple bottles of alcohol later, they did.

He wondered if it was really the ears that made them seem so much older than Ritsuka, even though they couldn't come close to his depth of emotional and cognitive maturity.

"Oi! Soubi!"

He wondered what Ritsuka would look like without his ears and tail. More of an adult? Would he loose some of his charm? Would he be enhanced by it, like the Zeroes were?

"Earth to Soubi!"

Soubi jumped. Natsuo had thrown a sugar packet at him that hit him in the face. He looked down at the unassuming little Nutrasweet that managed to land right on his plate, then up at them.

Youji was looking at him with a raised eyebrow while Natsuo was snickering behind his hand. "It's time to order, the pretty waitress is waiting," Youji said carefully.

Soubi noticed that she was, in fact, standing at the table. He cleared his throat, he had never noticed her come up. "I'll have the shrimp Caesar salad."

"And to drink?" she asked, sounding more than a little amused.

"Iced Green tea."

She wrote it down.

"I'll have strawberry pie!" Natsuo chimed in.

"I'm sorry, sir, it's out of season."

Soubi shook his head. It was just like Natsuo to order something outrageous like that. Winter was just melting away, of course it would be a few months before they'd have something like strawberry pie.

Natsuo pouted, then smiled up at her. "Youji, you order for me."

"Eh? Why me?"

"Because I don't know what I want!"

"Maybe I was going to order the same thing as you!"

"Eh? We're in a bind then, aren't we?" They laughed about it, together and in unison. It was creepy.

The waitress looked uncertain. "I can come back again…"

"Just give them the same as me," Soubi interrupted.

She nodded and hurried away. The zeroes pouted. "Maybe we don't like shrimp."

"Pick it out."

"Then all you have is lettuce! Eew!"

Soubi rolled his eyes. It was something he learned from Ritsuka and found himself doing quite a bit when Natsuo and Youji were around. "Then don't eat it."

They looked at each other, and shared something secret between them. They snickered.

Soubi sighed inwardly. They were always like this. Childish.

"So what's bugging you?" Youji asked, looking at Soubi as if he was a specimen under a microscope.

"What makes you think something is bugging me?"

They looked at each other, and there it was again. A silent spark between them.

"We've known you for years. We haven't been friends for all of that time, but we've still known you."

Soubi looked up from his plate. Had that been Natsuo or Youji speaking? Did it even matter?

"There's nothing going on."

"What about Ritsuka?" It was Natsuo this time, Soubi saw the lips move. "How has he been doing?"

"Oh." Soubi realized it in an instant.

"Oh?"

"He's acting strange." Soubi stated this as if it was a fact of his existence.

Youji and Natsuo smiled.

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"Why do he think it's bothering me?" he asked.

"Because it has to do with Ritsuka," Youji told him.

Soubi thought it over, chewing on his words until he could decide what to say. The waitress came and put their food down in front of them. Salads were quick and easy to make. He stared at the little crescents of pink nestled among the leafy greens. "He's just been acting strange?" He worded it like a question, hoping that it would be answer enough to satisfy the Zeroes.

"How so?"

"Well, he's been… clingy. More affectionate. He wants to touch more. He wants to kiss."

Natsuo snorted, running his hands through his short, reddish curls. "Most people wouldn't complain about that."

"Ritsuka's really cute!" Youji added. "I would kiss him."

Natsuo made a little sound that could have been agreement or jealousy.

Soubi shook his head. "It's just not like him. He's always been reluctant about those kind of things."

"God, Soubi, he was a kid then. Of course he would be. You took his first kiss before he could even think about who he wanted to give it to."

Soubi looked away. "It was necessary at the time, to form a bond…"

"He's seventeen," Natsuo reminded him firmly. "He's probably horny."

Soubi looked stricken, the shock was clear on his face. This, of course, caused both Zeroes to laugh uncontrollably. It was very rare to see such an expression on someone like Soubi.

Soubi began to eat his salad, if anything to give him something to do. He attacked it with that damned little three-prong fork that European-styled cafes in Japan were so fond of using. He knew they didn't use little three-prong forks in Europe. They just weren't very practical for salads at all.

"Seriously, Soubi," Youji began. "Boys have needs, you know. Ritsuka isn't above that kind of thing."

Soubi could feel the heat in his cheeks. "I know that. I'm a man too."

"Yeah, but he still has his ears," Natsuo pointed out. "At his age, it's gotta be bothering him."

"Seimei still had his ears at seventeen, and after." Soubi stated this as if it explained everything.

Youji looked at him through a fringe of pale bangs. He spoke slowly, as if Soubi wouldn't understand if he didn't. "That's only because he wouldn't let you hit it."

Soubi glared at them both. It didn't matter that Youji was the one who said it.

"Oh! I get it now!" Natsuo said, laughter in her voice. "That's why you aren't trying to get into Ritsuka's pants! You are afraid of him rejecting you like Seimei did, so you aren't even willing to try!"

"You are just trying to content yourself with being close to him, being in love with him!" Youji continued, catching onto the game as well. "After all, you can't fail if you don't try. You can't be rejected if you don't put in the effort!"

"But is that how Ritsuka feels?" Natsuo asked his partner.

"No, I don't think it is." Youji told him.

"I think Ritsuka wants him."

"I think so too."

"So what are you going to do, Soubi?" They both turned to him and said this in unison, their voice sing-songy and light.

God, it was creepy.

He swallowed his anger. He couldn't get mad at them. He wouldn't let himself. They were being rude, but maybe it was what he wanted, or needed, to hear. "How do you know he, uhm, he wants me?"

"Because he's been trying to tell you. That's why he's acting weird. He's been trying to let you know he's ready for you."

Soubi chewed thoughtfully. It was too good to be true, really. Could he really allow himself to hope? Could he really entertain thoughts of holding Ritsuka close to him, of feeling the other man's heat from the inside out? Could he handle it?

Or would he reject him, the same as Seimei?

The thought of being rejected by Ritsuka hurt. It sent a painful wave across his stomach when he considered the possibility. Like nausea from a carnival ride, only he wasn't going to throw up. So maybe the Zeroes were right. He didn't have to show them that he agreed.

"If Ritsuka wanted something like that from me, he would come out and say it. All he has to do is order me."

Youji cringed at the thought. Look at that, a spark of humanity in the Zeroes. "Where's the romance in that?"

"Ritsuka isn't one to play games."

"When it comes to something he is embarrassed about, yes he is."

"I'm his fighter, not you. What makes you think you know him so much better than me?" Soubi's voice hissed from between his clenched jaw. He was trying very hard to not show his anger and frustration.

Natsuo blinked at him. "Because we don't have our heads stuck up our ass."

"We're not so close to the forest we can't see despite the trees," Youji added.

Soubi stood up and walked to the restrooms. He didn't so much as excuse himself, he just got up and left.

He shut the door behind him and turned on the sink, splashing cold water over his hands and patting down his face. His skin was pink with anger, and the chilled water would help him cool off. He breathed deeply of some kind of masculine air freshener that bothered his nose and opened his eyes to look in the mirror in front of him.

He was twenty-five. Ritsuka was seventeen. Eight years between them. In another year or two, you wouldn't even be able to tell that there was an age gap. Ritsuka had grown up that fast, right before his eyes. He had witnessed it every day for the past five years to the point where he had not even noticed it happening. The only way to tell was to look at the Memories that he and Ritsuka had made when they had first met so long ago. Those photographs were the only thing that made the changes real, the growth apparent.

Well, not the only thing. There were the real memories- the kind that didn't need to be recorded on film. There were the battles. The heartache. The establishment of friendships. All those things made the changes real too, but Ritsuka's growth and maturity were the ultimate barometer of such things. He could measure where they had come in their relationship by the man that the little boy had grown into.

Was Ritsuka really ready? Did he really want to become an adult? Did he want to lose the last shred of innocence that he still possessed and enter the jaded world of adults?

A little voice told Soubi that Ritsuka had lost that long ago - the moment that he had seen Seimei again. Ritsuka had been an adult for a long time now. Maybe it was time for his body to catch up.

Soubi dried his hands and returned to the table. He had regained his composure and was ready to return to his frustrating lunch companions.

Both of the Zeroes were gone. They're plates were cleaned off without a single shrimp left behind. The bill was sitting on the table with money on top of it, enough to cover all three lunches plus tip, waiting for the waitress to come and pick it up.

Soubi sat down to finish his salad and noticed that there was a napkin laid over his fork. It simply said _'Sorry.'_

He couldn't help but smile. One word. It was so like them.

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Soubi leaned against the school gate and noticed for the first time he wasn't itching for a cigarette. Maybe this whole quitting thing was working after all. He took out the half finished pack from his coat and threw it in the nearby trashcan. He had no doubt that some high school kid would come along and pick them out, but it was the symbolism of the thing.

The school bell rang and moments later students came pouring out of the doors. Minutes later Ritsuka was among them, walking slowly as if his bag weighed as much as he did. His ears even drooped a little.

Soubi cleared his throat when Ritsuka almost walked past him.

He looked up at him, surprise apparent on his face. "Soubi?"

He smiled at him.

"I didn't think you'd come."

Soubi's smile faded and he became more serious. "Why wouldn't I?"

Ritsuka shrugged as if he was afraid to say it out loud.

Soubi crossed the space between them in a breath and pulled Ritsuka close to him, wrapping his arms around the younger man as much to trap him as embrace him.

Ritsuka dropped his bag and melted into Soubi's arms, laying his head on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around the other man's waist. "I've been thinking of you all day," he admitted.

Soubi held him, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other students. "You haven't left my thoughts either."

Ritsuka pulled away then so that he could look into Soubi's face, but the older man wouldn't let go. Ritsuka looked slightly embarrassed and one of his ears was turned down slightly. He looked up at Soubi with those lavender eyes even though his face was turned downwards.

"How was Natsuo and Youji?" Ritsuka asked, trying to make conversation, hoping that if they started talking about something Soubi would let him go.

"Same as always," Soubi began to say, but he changed his mind. "Well, I shouldn't say that. They've matured and we haven't even realized it."

Ritsuka looked at him, not sure about what he meant. "I can't believe that."

Soubi sighed and gave Ritsuka a final hug before letting him go. He could see Yuiko coming up to them with Yayoi in tow. "Believe it. At some point, they grew up on us."

Ritsuka didn't say anything.


	5. Day 5

**How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days**

Day 5

By YaoiKitten

**For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.**

Ritsuka shouldn't have been surprised to see Natsuo and Youji waiting for him out in the hall during his lunch break. He knew, fundamentally, that the Zeroes had a habit of popping up when you least expected them and then disappearing just as quickly. Soubi had told him about how they had left him at the café the other day, but had been strangely tight-lipped about what their conversation had been about or why they left. Ritsuka had gotten so frustrated with Soubi's lack of detail that he had picked up his school bag and went home. He had a curfew, anyway, and it was getting late.

Soubi had let him go, had not even tried to stop him. That, in and of itself, had Ritsuka more vexed than anything. Soubi had just let him walk out.

Now, the Zeroes were standing out in the hall, waiting for him. It seemed strangely ominous somehow, as if they were there for a fight. His hand fluttered to his cell phone, ready to call Soubi at a moments notice.

But Natsuo smiled at him, and Youji waved. He reminded himself that they weren't there for a fight, but old habits died hard. He kept the cell phone in his hand just the same. Ever since they went back to Negisa-sensei, he just couldn't trust them-- though it wasn't like he ever did in the first place.

"Hey Ritsuka!" Youji said when he went out to meet them.

"How did you guys get in here? This isn't your school…" He didn't think that they even went to school, other than that Fighter school that they had attended. He didn't even know what they were doing now, if they worked or went to school or where they lived. He'd have to ask Soubi about it later.

They laughed together, a childish melody that made Ritsuka cringe. It was too creepy.

"We're the same age, like anybody knows whether or not we attend this school!"

Ritsuka nodded. They had a point and he agreed that it had been a stupid question on his part. "What do you guys want?"

"To see you, Loveless."

He flinched. He hadn't heard that name in a while.

"Let's go outside, and not do this here." He turned and walked down the hall, obviously expecting the Zeroes to follow him.

Natsuo walked up beside him and threw his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close to speak softly into his ear. Natsuo was a little shorter than him, but he was tall enough that is wasn't uncomfortable. "Are you nervous around us? Why?"

Youji came up on his other side and, not seeing anything else he could do, slipped his arm around Ritsuka's waist. "We're not here to fight you, y'know."

Ritsuka kept walking, hoping that they would get bored of trying to torment him and let go. He wasn't scaring, which was good since they really weren't trying to threaten him, maybe just creep him out a bit. The feel of their hips rubbing against his definitely made him uncomfortable though. "Does this have something to do with Soubi?"

Youji looked at him, clearly surprised. "He told you about our conversation?"

Ritsuka stopped midstep, pulling back and ducking under limbs to squeeze out of their grasp. They turned around and looked at him. Natsuo had his hands on his hips and Youji had his arms crossed over his chest. He had pissed them off, apparently.

"No, he didn't tell me. We fought about it, but he never told me anything."

Natsuo smirked. "Like he ever does."

"We'll tell you," Youji offered. His arms were uncrossed and he looped one hand around Natsuo's arm. "We'll tell you everything. That's why we came."

Ritsuka blinked. He knew they were telling the truth. In all of his memory, the Zeroes were the only ones who had ever told him anything useful about the whole fighter/sacrifice thing. As much as he was loathe to admit it, he trusted them. They were childish, annoying, and emotionally lacking, but he trusted them to tell him the truth. They had lied to him less than Soubi, anyways.

"All right," Ritsuka said, walking up and placing his arms around each of their waists, leading them down the hall. He would play nice to get to the bottom of what was going on with Soubi. The Zeroes responded well to flirting, and he wasn't above using his charm to get information.

Natsuo and Youji looked entirely too pleased as they were led down the hall. Ritsuka couldn't see it, but they had clasped their hands together behind his back as they walked.

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"Eeeeeehh?" Ritsuka squeeked, his eyes gone wide. "He said that?"

Natsuo and Youji looked at each other. "He got up and walked away from us after he did. I think we hit something there."

Ritsuka looked at them. "He did say you guys had left when he got back."

Youji laughed. "We were afraid he was going to hit us if we stayed any longer."

"He got THAT mad over it? That's not like him."

"That's why we figured it was so important to tell you," Natsuo explained. "He's been worried about you, too. He said you had been acting weird."

Youji poked him. "He said you were being more cuddly!"

Ritsuka blushed but didn't look away. "So what? He's m-my… my boyfriend. I'm allowed to get cuddly aren't I?"

"And more!" Natsuo told him, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Youji leaned into him, lowering his voice so that only the three of them could hear even though there was no one around. "Admit it, Loveless. You're horny. You want Soubi." He put extra emphasis on _Loveless_, dragging the word out over his tongue to get the point across.

Ritsuka's Look could have frozen hell, but it didn't faze Youji. He just smiled back at him sweetly.

"I. Am. Not."

Natsuo was the one to laugh. "You're in denial! How could you not be?"

Ritsuka glared at him now.

"He won't try anything until you let him know its okay. He is afraid of being rejected by you, so he won't even try," Youji told him. He said it as if he was just stating a fact, like saying the grass was green.

Ritsuka's face was red, but he couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. He didn't know what to say.

"Look, this is how it is," Natsuo began. "He says you're acting weird. You say he's acting weird. You are seventeen years old, and you want him. Deny it all you want to, but your frustration is so TANGIBLE that Soubi must be an idiot not to get it. He is too afraid to make a move on you, though, because Seimei rejected him again and again when they were fighter and sacrifice. And have you LOOKED in the mirror recently? Am I the only one who is thinking all this just might have something to do with each other?"

Youji looked entirely too pleased with his partner. "Nope, I get it."

They both turned and looked at Ritsuka. "Do you?" they asked in unison.

Ritsuka was shaking, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was that they had brought Seimei into this, but he had a feeling it was more about the weight of Natsuo's words. He flopped back onto the lawn and stared up at the gray fall sky. They had chosen to sit in the grass under a tree where they wouldn't be bothered. It was chilly, but they were all right without coats for a while. "Why are you telling me all this? Why do you guys care if Soubi and I are having problems?"

The Zeroes looked at each other, then at him. "Because we are genetically engineered for each other."

Ritsuka craned his neck up to look at them. He didn't get it at all.

"Do you know what its like to question why you're with someone?" Youji asked Ritsuka, but his eyes were on Natsuo.

Ritsuka sat up. "Of course. I ask myself all the time why I put up with Soubi."

"Yeah, well, we don't," Natsuo said. "We don't have to ask that, because we know why. We are genetically engineered to be together. It's not that we love each other, it's not that we even like each other. We just are together because we are meant to be."

"Do you know what that's like? Never falling in love? Never knowing if you are in love with your partner, never being sure if you would have still loved them if you had just met one day on the street?" Youji asked.

Ritsuka nodded. He was starting to understand.

"We want you and Soubi to succeed because you don't share the same name. Soubi was meant for Seimei, but instead he's with you. Soubi fell in love with you so much that it didn't matter to him that you were not the one who shared his name. We want you to succeed because, if you do, you prove that we are together of our own will and not of our genes."

Ritsuka looked at them. This must have been what Soubi meant when he had said that they had matured.

"Tell us, Ritsuka. You're the philosopher. Prove to us that we are together because we want to be, because we love each other, and not because we are supposed to be. If you and Soubi can do that, then our kind of love will be validated too."

Ritsuka nodded. He understood. He understood how hard it must be to live each day wondering why you are with someone. He understood that they needed to know that love was enough to keep two people together. After all, if it wasn't, then no one would ever stay together.

He knew that was true for him and Soubi just as much as anybody.

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Ritsuka had no sooner noticed that Soubi wasn't waiting for him outside the school when his cell phone lit up red. He had the long lariat tied around his messenger bag and the phone buzzed against his thigh. He fumbled to answer it, untying the straps and snapping it open. "Hello?"

"It's me." Soubi's voice came clear over the phone. It sent little chills down Ritsuka's spine. "You're out of school now?"

"Yeah, I just got out." Ritsuka told him, wondering where he was. Only one way to find out. "Where are you?"

"I went grocery shopping. If Yuiko still wanted to go on that picnic tomorrow after school, I need to buy more food."

Ritsuka wondered why Soubi couldn't have waited so that they could have just gone together. Then he realized how odd it would be to go to the grocery store with Soubi. It was so domestic, something that lovers would do. Besides, maybe Soubi had plans later or he was busy tomorrow for some reason…

"Ritsuka?"

"Yeah."

"_Does_ Yuiko still want all of us to go out Sunday?"

Ritsuka nodded, then realized that Soubi couldn't see him. "Yeah, she was still talking about it today."

"All right then. I'll grab some more stuff to make and I'll be home in a few. Can you meet me there?"

He readily agreed. Ritsuka knew he shouldn't be so bent out of shape about Soubi not coming to pick him up. Soubi was busy, he had to remind himself, and it wasn't like this was the first time he couldn't come and pick him up. He wasn't the center of Soubi's world, after all.

At least, not completely.

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Soubi had given Ritsuka a key to his apartment long ago, so he had no problems letting himself inside.

He stood in the doorway, looking around the empty apartment. He could count the number of times he had been there without Soubi on one hand, and half of those times were with other people. The room seemed empty and stark without someone to live in it.

He hung his bag up on the back of one of the kitchen chairs after he kicked off his shoes and switched to slippers. Soubi had bought a pair just for him, a dusty purple color that matched his eyes. Soubi preferred to just wear his socks around the apartment, so the other pair sitting by the door was mostly used by guests.

Ritsuka came to stand in the middle of the floor and he looked around, wondering what to do with himself. From his vantage point, he could see every corner of Soubi's one room apartment-- Kitchen, Dining Room, Bedroom, and Bath. The only thing he couldn't see was the little closet where the toilet was and the closet for clothes directly across the room from it. He couldn't see how Soubi could have possibly put up with the Zeroes in such a tiny space the span of time that he did.

He decided on the bed and plopped down on it, stretching his limbs over the mattress and settling into the nice, Soubi-sized indentation in the middle. He shut his eyes and felt the blue silk duvet under his naked fingertips and smelled Soubi's scent on the linens. He smelled like lavender shampoo and the faint odor of tobacco. He likened the scent to lavender incense, and he would never admit that he had a few sticks of the stuff at home.

His mind kept drifting back to the conversation that he'd had with the Zeroes. Was Soubi really just afraid of rejection? Did he not want to get close to him because he was afraid he would just push him away? Could Soubi have really been suffering this entire time, never pushing him because of his own insecurities?

The Zeroes had told him that Soubi had to be so forceful in the beginning because he was desperate to establish a bond with him. He got that. He wasn't too upset about that. He was upset that Soubi hadn't tried to strengthen that bond after everything was said and done. Now he knew it was because he hadn't wanted to push his luck.

Well, then, Ritsuka would just have to push it for him.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the door being opened. His heart was beating rapidly but he kept his eyes shut, trying to steady his breathing.

He listened to the rustling of plastic grocery bags being placed on the kitchen counter, and then nothing. He heard the padding of socked feet across the hardwood floor, then nothing. He was standing directly over the bed.

He slowed his breathing, moving his head up and down a little to cuddle deeper into the mattress, into this fake sleep. He felt weight settling on the right side of the bed and his lips twitched. His heart was beating out of his chest, but he concentrated on keeping his breathing even.

Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it…

There it was. Soft, warm lips pressed against his. He knew that he would make too tempting of a target for Soubi to possibly resist. He kept his face neutral while he was kissed, letting Soubi peck at first his bottom lip, then his top, then the side of his mouth. His insides melted with the attention, and he could feel the flush moving up his stomach, his chest, his face.

He couldn't help it. He began to kiss back. Soubi stopped what he had been doing, letting Ritsuka kiss him. It was obvious the boy wasn't asleep now, and he had tried to be gentle enough not to wake him. Ritsuka reached out with one hand and found Soubi's thigh. He had sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss him. He reached up with his other hand and placed it on Soubi's back, keeping the other man from being able to pull away or retreat.

Soubi began to kiss him again, their lips meeting and parting in sweet little breaths of air. It was intoxicating, kissing like this. It felt as though energy moved between them, electricity from Soubi was transferred from his lips to fill Ritsuka's lungs before being pushed back through Soubi. It was like they completed a circuit when they kissed, but it was more than something supernatural between them. It was what the Zeroes and the others like them were searching for.

Soubi pulled back enough to break the kiss, and Ritsuka finally opened his eyes. He was surrounded by a veil of long, pale hair. Soubi's face hovered inches in front of his.

Ritsuka reached up and ran his fingers through those long strands, as much to get them out of his face as to feel the texture between his fingers and spread the scent of lavender around him. He craned his neck upwards those last couple of inches and pressed his lips against Soubi's again.

So he was being forward. He figured after years of playing coy, he could be blunt now.

He pulled back and looked into Soubi's eyes. He was constantly amazed at the iced blue he saw in them. They weren't cold and impersonal, though, as most pale eyes are. They were warm when they looked at him, more like the blue of a warm ocean beach than an Antarctic Iceland.

Soubi looked at him, a mix of wonderment and confusion clear on his face.

"Do you want to come down here with me?" Ritsuka asked in a low voice. It was the kind of voice you used when coaxing a frightened animal out of a corner.

Soubi only hesitated a moment before moving to lay next to him. Ritsuka moved over, giving him some more room. The faced each other on the bed, both lying on their sides with their hands folded in front of them. They didn't hold hands, but their knees did touch. Lying like that, they could see right into the other person's face. It would be hard to hide anything.

"Natsuo and Youji came to see me today," Ritsuka began conversationally.

"Oh?" Soubi sounded neither surprised or interested, but there was a note of unease apparent in his eyes.

"Yeah, they told me about yesterday."

"Oh."

Ritsuka frowned a bit. It wasn't exactly the response he had been looking for. He reached out then and slid his hands into Soubi's, scooting his body forward so that they were even closer. They were on eye level, inches apart, and there was nothing that Soubi could possibly hide from him. Not even Soubi was that good of a liar.

"Do you want to talk about it?" God, he felt like a woman saying that.

Soubi looked at him, and saw something that he didn't. His face changed, it softened. He smiled, and it took Ritsuka by surprise. "I don't think there's anything to talk about."

Ritsuka looked in Soubi's eyes, trying to figure out what the other man was thinking, what he was feeling. Then he saw it. He saw what Soubi had seen.

His own reflection stared back at him in the other man's pupils, and he looked terrified.


	6. Day 6

**How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days**

Day 6

By YaoiKitten

**For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.**

They were crazy to be picnicking on a day like today. Autumn was in full glory and moving towards winter, and the chill in the air hinted at a cold front coming through soon. They had went anyway, after the younger ones had gotten out of their half-day at school. Japan was the only country that Soubi knew of that made their students attend school for a half day on Saturday. Even in the fighters school he hadn't had class on Saturdays.

He had spent the morning packing a marvelous lunch for everyone, a multi-layered bento full of warm, autumn-inspired food. He had packed several thermoses of hot tea to help everyone ward off the chill in the air before meeting Ritsuka, Yayoi, and Yuiko after school.

The sun was bright and that helped keep them warm, it chased off the cold wind and lowering temperature. They had laid the blanket out over a bed of fallen leaves so that it crunched underneath every time they moved. Yayoi and Yuiko had run off after lunch to play on the jungle gym equipment like a couple of little kids. It had to have been Yuiko's idea. Soubi was of the opinion that Yayoi was so whipped it was pathetic. Then he realized far be it for him to judge someone else on their behavior at the behest of love.

He looked over at Ritsuka, who was sitting beside him Indian-style with his hands in his lap, watching the other two play and run around like idiots. Soubi had no right to judge Yayoi when Ritsuka held a similar hold over him. He supposed he was just better at keeping his dignity than Yayoi was.

Ritsuka had a wistful look on his face as he watched, and tip of his tail was sweeping back and forth across the blanket in a slow arc. Soubi leaned back on his hands so that he could feel the tip of that tail twitching over his fingers. Ritsuka didn't even seem to notice.

Soubi began to lift his hand up in time with the rhythm to allow his tail to pass under it before lowering again in an effort to catch it under his hand. He did this for a while, letting his mind wander aimlessly across the almost-deserted park. It was the one they had come to on his and Ritsuka's first 'date' almost five years ago. They had revisited the park on several occasions--some for business, some for pleasure. He felt a sappy kind of romance for the park because it reminded him so much of Ritsuka.

He had never expected to fall in love with Ritsuka, after all. It was an order, just like any other order Seimei had given him. Loving Ritsuka was the first thing that Soubi had ever done of his own will. He had committed many wrongs against the boy in the name of that love--due to that battle of will and the strict training to obey--but he still felt to this day that the lying and breaking of promises was justified. It just took him a long time to learn how to judge a situation. He thought he had gotten better at it, until last night.

Last night, Ritsuka had been so warm and welcoming. It would have been so easy for Soubi to have ignored that look in his eyes and taken him right there. He felt something burning inside of him at the thought. He couldn't do it, though. He would never be able to live with himself unless he was sure that Ritsuka was one-hundred percent ready. He didn't ever want to see that look of fear in Ritsuka's eyes again. He wanted the experience to be safe, happy, and comfortable for him.

Unlike it had been for him.

He wanted to show Ritsuka all the pleasure that his body was capable of. He wanted to delight in finding all the boy's responsive places, in seeking them out and then touching them again and again.

Soubi shook himself. He had to stop such trains of thought.

So now he had the dilemma of how he could make Ritsuka feel safe. He understood that sex could be a very scary, very detrimental thing if not handled properly. He wanted it to be perfect for Ritsuka, but for that he was going to have to go slow and make him comfortable.

Soubi's thoughts had disrupted his rhythm and he caught Ritsuka's tail beneath his fingers. Ritsuka jumped and looked at him, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead and his ears coming forward in an inquisitive look that Soubi thought was just too adorable.

Soubi looked at him and smiled before pouncing, pushing the smaller man against the blanket and leaning in to kiss and suck at his neck.

"Hey, Soubi!" Ritsuka shrieked, laughing and trying to push the other man off of him. "Stop that!"

Soubi smiled. There was a time where Ritsuka would have ordered him to get off and fought him tooth and nail. These feeble protests were a good sign.

Yuiko had just reached the top of the slide when she noticed Soubi and Ritsuka spread out on the blanket. She laughed and pointed so that Yayoi would look too. "Hey look! I guess those two are getting along better!"

Yayoi watched as Ritsuka's hands reached up and starting slapping at Soubi's back. His legs were also kicking and his shrieks could be heard from where they were. "Yeah, looks like they made up finally."

Yuiko smiled and turned to him. "Was there any doubt that they would?"

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Soubi let them into his apartment, turning on the thermostat as he walked past. It was getting colder since the sun went down, and the room felt incredibly chilly even with his coat still on.

Ritsuka took off his coat and went straight to the stove to put on a kettle for tea. After spending so much time outside they were both chilled to the bone to the point that only a good pot of tea could possibly warm them up. Soubi watched as Ritsuka got out two mugs and began to pack tea leaves into the little silver tea ball. He moved as if he owned the place, the perfect picture of domesticity. Ritsuka knew his kitchen, knew where everything was, and didn't have any qualms about helping himself to it. The thought made Soubi smile.

The heater kicked on and Soubi shrugged out of his coat. He closed the curtains over the doors that led out to the balcony to block out the chill and the florescent lights of the street. It made the room so dark that he turned on the bedside lamp. The lamp and the kitchen lights were the only ones on so that the room was softly lit. Low lighting. Mood lighting.

When he turned around Ritsuka was sitting on the countertop watching the proverbial pot boil. He sat down at the kitchen table and their eyes met. Ritsuka's immediately slid to the side.

Soubi sighed. Was it always going to be like this when they were alone together? How could he help Ritsuka overcome this fear of them being alone? There was only one way that his mind supplied for him, and after a moment of debate he decided to run with it.

He got up and walked over to Ritsuka, who turned to him with a startled look on his face. Soubi stood directly in front of him, watching his reaction with some amount of amusement.

"What?" Ritsuka asked, his eyes sliding over to the boiling kettle of water. The whistle went off as steam came out the top, cutting through the silence.

Soubi reached out and turned it off. Ritsuka was looking at him directly now, a sneaking look of suspicion coming over his features. He reached out and grabbed the younger boy, gathering him into his arms and lifting him up so that he could carry him across the room.

"What are you doing, Soubi?" Ritsuka shrieked, but his legs instinctively wrapped around Soubi's waist anyways. His voice no longer had the merriment he had heard in the park, it was more upset and wary. They were in the confines of Soubi's apartment now, after all, and he could do anything he liked in here. The park had offered comfort and protection since it was a public place-- behind closed doors, anything goes.

Ritsuka had definitely gotten heavier, Soubi noted as he carried the boy across the room. Ritsuka hung on for dear life, afraid that Soubi would drop him if he struggled too much. He let out a little whimper when he noticed that they were headed for the bed.

Soubi sat down gingerly, careful to make sure that Ritsuka's feet didn't get caught underneath him. His grip loosened once he sat down, and Ritsuka pulled back enough that Soubi could see his face. His ears were perked with interest but his eyes were distrustful. Soubi leaned forward and planted a single kiss on Ritsuka's chin before laying back onto the mattress.

Ritsuka jostled with the movement and his eyes opened wide. He moved his legs to a more comfortable position and leaned over Soubi. "What are you doing?"

Soubi smiled at him and reached up to run his fingers over one velvety ear. Ritsuka was leaning into the touch. Good, he was warming up. "I'm going to let you explore me."

"Hmm?" Ritsuka asked, his eyes closing at the feel of Soubi scratching behind his ears. It felt so good he really hadn't paid that much attention to what Soubi had said.

"I'm going to let you have your way with me," Soubi amended, hoping that this would get his attention. It did. Ritsuka's eyes snapped open but Soubi kept scratching. "I'm going to lie here and you will do whatever you want to with what is yours. I belong to you, so use me however you see fit."

There it was again, that look of abject fear. Curious fingertips fluttered over Soubi's face though, and Ritsuka leaned ever closer to him. "Why?"

"Because there is a difference between knowing that you are safe and feeling that you are safe. I want you to feel safe when you are with me. I want you to be comfortable."

Ritsuka swallowed and nodded. Good, they were on the same page finally.

He closed his eyes and left Ritsuka to consider his next move. It was equally likely that the boy would just get up and walk away as take advantage of the offer. Soubi waited patiently, only the heat and weight of Ritsuka over his groin indicated that the other man was still there.

Ever so lightly he felt that weight shift and then there were cool fingertips on his face, stroking his cheeks and moving to his lips. They removed his glasses and a thumb ran over his lower lip, pressing against the flesh as if to test its resilience. The fingers wandered up his face and through his hair, spreading the flaxen silk over the bedspread. Ritsuka pushed his bangs back from his forehead and gave him a kiss, the first one that left a heat on his skin like a rug burn. His entire body warmed at that chaste kiss and he could no longer feel any chill in the air.

He kept his eyes closed as the fingers wandered down his throat, brushing over the bandages he wore there to cover his scar. They continued to his shirt buttons, and quick, nimble fingers flicked the first set apart. There was a full hand on his chest now, rubbing against the smooth skin in small circles and arcs. The hand went back up to his throat, and he could feel the meaty palm over top of his Adam's apple. The fingers worked at the silver butterfly clips to remove the gauze.

Soubi breathed deeply. It was just like Ritsuka to remove the gauze first. He knew that the scars bothered him so it would make sense that he would want to expose them before anything else. Soubi felt the bandage being loosened and sliding off his neck, exposing the hacked scratches of barbed wire and the word _Beloved_. Seimei's mark wound around his throat, the most permanent of collars.

Those same fingertips stroked the scars, deft finger pads tracing raised lacerations of meaty tissue over the delicate muscles of the throat. He knew that Ritsuka wanted to ask about them more than anything, but he also knew that he never would. Some things were just too painful for Ritsuka to put into words, an unsaid spell that could so easily break them apart. Ritsuka was never going to ask and he was never going to tell. If they did, everything they had built together would be torn asunder.

Soubi felt those lithe hands stroking their way down his body, running over both of his ribs to the hem of his pants and then back up again. They flew down the rest of his buttons with a quickness and intensity that made him open his eyes for a moment. Ritsuka was flushed and straddling over him, his eyes bright, curious, and more than a little lustful at the sight of his bare chest. Soubi closed his eyes again. He would not allow himself to loose control.

He breathed deeply and before he knew it there was skin on skin, cool hands touching his torso. They ran up and down his sides, pushed the oxford off of his shoulder, and back over his chest. They brushed over his nipples until they were hard and pointed but Ritsuka seemed not to notice. His concern seemed to be touching every square inch of his exposed body, dipping into the hollow of his belly right below the ribs and even pushing a thumb into his belly button. Soubi shifted at the attention and their hips slid together. He heard Ritsuka gasp and he couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He kept his eyes closed.

There was no movement, no motion on top of him. He dared to open his eyes enough to see Ritsuka looking down at him, studying him. The blush was still tinting his cheeks but he seemed defensive, as if his pride was hurt. Soubi watched as he reached out two hands and pinched down on his nipples lightly. Soubi's brow furrowed in response and Ritsuka smirked. He pinched harder.

Soubi made the conscious effort to stay very still. Ritsuka was playing with him, toying with him because his pride had been hurt. He was punishing him for finding the other man so adorable. If that was the case, Soubi thought that he would spend the rest of his life in chains if Ritsuka ever knew what he really thought.

He visibly shivered at the idea, and Ritsuka removed his hands as if he had burnt them on a hot stove. His face was scared, as if he was frightened that he had hurt him.

"It's all right," Soubi consoled him, his tongue reaching out to wet his lips. "It felt nice."

Ritsuka looked dubious but he leaned forward anyways so that he was on eye level with Soubi. "Can I really do whatever I want?"

Something inside Soubi broke and he fought back an audible whimper. There was just something so sensual about such a simple question when Ritsuka said it like that. "Please…" he told him.

Ritsuka kept their eyes locked together as he reached down and began to unbutton Soubi's pants. Soubi fought to not close his eyes now at the sensation of having those fingertips brushing against him through the fabric. It was maddening to have Ritsuka move so slowly over him and he tried to keep their eyes locked. Ritsuka was watching his face intently for any signs of discomfort or distress.

Funny, how it seemed that Ritsuka was just as concerned about him as he was about Ritsuka. Ritsuka's hands wandered around his waist to hook fingers around the top of his underwear. They moved to stroke the delicate skin below the band, tickling the fine, pale hairs on his lower stomach. Ritsuka shifted his weight and began to tug the pants down over the underwear inch by inch, getting off and moving to the side so that Soubi could lift his hips to get them down his legs. Ritsuka stood and removed the pants with one final tug over the ankles.

Soubi was spread out of the bed, wearing nothing but his underwear. Ritsuka couldn't help but smile when he noticed that they were black, the tight kind of boxer briefs made out of the really thin material that wouldn't show under any pair of pants. His smile faded when he realized that he could see every evidence of Soubi's desire under that flimsy material.

He wet his lips at the sight, letting his eyes wander all over Soubi. The man was beautiful, his taught muscles laid under skin the color of peaches and cream. Ritsuka stood at the edge of the bed, suddenly not able to move.

Soubi could imagine the questions that were going through the other man's head. _Am I supposed to take my clothes off now? Is this it? Are we actually going to do it? What if I touch him again? Will there be no turning back?_

Soubi smiled back at Ritsuka, his expression trying to be comforting. He reached down and hooked his fingers into his own waistband, lifting his hips off the bed and sliding the black fabric down over them. Ritsuka watched as inch after inch of him was exposed until everything that Soubi had was laid bare on the mattress.

Ritsuka was openly staring, the reddest blush that Soubi had ever seen covered his face. He wasn't sure, but he suspected that he might have short-circuited something in the other boy's brain.

He sat up and smiled, trying to make Ritsuka comfortable. "Here's all of me, Ritsuka. Everything that I am you own."

Ritsuka swallowed. His mouth was very dry.

"I just wanted you to know what you have. I don't want anything to come between us, not even our skin."

Ritsuka nodded. He immediately threw his arms around Soubi, burying his face in the other man's bare chest. "I don't want that either," he whispered. "But, can we… can we stop for today? Is that all right?"

Soubi held him tight and smoothed his fingers through that long hair. "Of course it is all right. There is always tomorrow, right?"

"And the day after that," Ritsuka whispered.

"And the day after that," Soubi added.

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_Author's Note: I've been getting a lot of comments asking me to update. I always update on my livejournal first so that my regular readers always have first-dibs. If you are starving for an update, be sure to check there to see if a new chapter is posted. I also post original works on there so you may have to scroll down to the most recent entry. I only update on this forum every once in a while, so for the latest updates feel free to friend my journal._


	7. Day 7

**How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days**

Day 7

By YaoiKitten

**For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.**

Ritsuka was mentally kicking himself all day. He'd had the PERFECT opportunity with Soubi. There the man was, finally spread out vulnerable and naked before him, and what did he do?

/…can we stop for today/

Ritsuka mentally kicked himself again. Why, oh why had he stopped? They were THERE, in the moment, and obviously in the mood. Ritsuka's blood had seemed to be flowing in the wrong direction throughout his entire body. Or at least, maybe just in a direction he wasn't used to--mainly his groin.

It wasn't that he didn't want to do it, it was very much on the contrary. He was just nervous, that's all. Also, he wasn't exactly sure what to expect. Would it hurt? Would it feel weird? Would it feel good? Would he be good enough to please Soubi?

Ritsuka realized with a start that he hadn't even so much as touched Soubi's penis in all the time that they had been dating. Five years and no more sexual contact of any kind other than kissing. Even now, after his eyes had been deliciously raped by Soubi's figure sprawled out before him, they still hadn't come any closer. They still hadn't touched.

Ritsuka's stomach churned when he remembered the one touch they had shared-- pelvis' encased in denim that pressed together in an almost desperate attempt for contact. He leaned back in his desk chair and pulled his messy hair back into a ponytail. He was supposed to be doing homework, but thoughts like these only served to distract him.

Sunday was Ritsuka's day off, and the day that he did all his homework. He liked to take his time during the week and not do much work, but on Sunday he crammed as much as he could. He would rather spend time with Soubi everyday than study all evening or go to cram school. His grades were good enough without studying, all he had to do was keep up with the workload.

He typed on the computer for a while, working on a report about Chaucer. The words bled across the screen as his mind returned again and again to the feel of Soubi's skin under his fingertips. He pushed back from his desk and stood up, raising his arms into a stretch that pulled his shirt up to expose his stomach.

There was a knock on the glass and he turned to see Soubi standing outside on the balcony, his coat and scarf blowing in the wind. Ritsuka rushed to let him in, and a cold gush of air swirled around the room before he could get the door closed.

"It is getting so cold out," Soubi greeted him, rubbing his gloved hands together. "The temperature has really dropped."

"What are you doing here?" Ritsuka asked. Never let it be said that he beat around the bush.

Soubi smiled. "I wanted to see you."

Ritsuka sighed. In truth, it wasn't so rare for Soubi to come by his room on a Sunday. Actually, it happened more often than not. "I still have some work to do."

Soubi leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. "I'll be as quiet as a mouse."

Ritsuka sighed and went back to his computer, trusting Soubi to make himself at home. He started typing again while Soubi took off his coat and scarf and hung them on a peg on the back of Ritsuka's door. Ritsuka had installed the little peg just for him, which had pleased Soubi to no end. He refused to come through the front door and potentially run into Ritsuka's mother, so he couldn't hang up his coat in the _genkan_.

He had removed his shoes just inside the balcony, so he crawled up onto Ritsuka's bed. He fluffed the pillows and took one of the books from his nightstand. He had a large collection of books in his 'to read' pile--he seemed to buy more books than he could possibly get through. The one Soubi had picked up was another Western writer, someone named Kate Chopin. He wrinkled his nose. All the books were Western writers, some he knew and some he didn't. Some names he couldn't even pronounce, such as Zora Neale Hurston.

His eyes lit up when they fell on _The Joys of Gay Sex_. He was dangerously close to laughing, and he had to fight the urge down or else face loosing life or limb when Ritsuka realized what was so funny. It was just like the boy to read a book about something he did not know anything about rather than just experiencing it for himself.

Soubi pulled the book out of the pile and settled back to read. Ritsuka couldn't possibly blame him for finding the book when he left it out in the open, could he? If he really wanted to hide it, he should of put it under his bed or something.

He honestly took it as a good sign that Ritsuka had even bought the book. It meant that he was maturing, and that his mind was beginning to consider the possibility of them being together in that way.

Ritsuka, to his credit, studiously ignored him while still knowing everything that Soubi did. His stomach tensed when he realized that Soubi had noticed the book, but he kept on typing. He was determined not to let Soubi know that it bothered him that he had found it. The truth was, he had just bought it that morning.

It was amazing how fast he could work and concentrate with Soubi there. It was like the man's presence kept him from having to think about him.

Ritsuka finished typing his paper and saved it for proofreading later. Maybe he would have Soubi look over it to give him feedback. Sometimes dating a college professor had its advantages. He opened up his calculus and his brain immediately started to hurt.

Another hour had passed. Soubi had been true to his word and was as quiet as a mouse, studiously reading. Ritsuka ignored him the best he could, and soon he had worked out all the problems he could manage. The others he saved for questions during class time.

He stood up then and stretched, only then becoming aware of how his shirt would ride up to expose his belly button. He hurriedly put his arms down but not before Soubi had noticed.

He looked at Soubi, as if he was just realizing what he had been reading. "You find anything interesting?"

"Lots," Soubi replied, turning the book around so that Ritsuka could see a particularly erotic photograph of two men. They were both laying on their sides facing the camera, and the one in the front had his leg thrown back over the other man's body. They had looks of ecstasy upon their faces as the one in the front got pounded from behind. Ritsuka looked away.

"I didn't know that gay sex was part of the reportoire for a soon-to-be Philosophy and Lit major," Soubi teased.

Ritsuka coughed delicately. "It is… uhm… personal interest."

Soubi closed the book and smiled. "I bet."

Ritsuka snatched the book from Soubi's hand as if it was a hot potato and shoved it under his bed. Soubi began to wonder what else Ritsuka kept under there.

"You know," Soubi began, leaning back into the pillows and crossing his ankles to form the perfect picture of relaxation, "I can teach you everything that is in those books."

"Why would I want you to do that?" Ritsuka challenged, but his voice lacked the conviction it did when he was much younger. He was playing hard to get, and he felt utterly stupid about it.

Soubi shrugged and placed his hands behind his head, closing his eyes as if he was ready to take an afternoon nap. "Well, since you had the book…"

Ritsuka pounced on him, jostling Soubi out of his comfortable position and causing a look of surprise to cross his face. Ritsuka pressed his body against Soubi's, his face only inches away from the other man's.

"Soubi?"

"Hmmm?"

"Shut up."

Soubi opened his mouth to speak, and Ritsuka kissed him. The kiss was hard and full with a bruising intensity. Soubi rolled with it, tongue and teeth responding to desperate lips. Ritsuka could feel the last reserves of Soubi's restraint melting away.

Soubi's hands came around to grab Ritsuka's waist and pull the boy closer. Ritsuka tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but Soubi had a firm grip that wouldn't let go. Ritsuka knew it was futile to struggle, so he gave himself up to it. He let Soubi hold him while they kissed, and he let Soubi's hands wander up and under his sweater. He shivered at the contact.

Soubi smiled against his lips and sat up so that Ritsuka was straddling him. Another moment of kissing and Ritsuka suddenly felt himself stripped of his fuzzy purple sweater, and Soubi's kisses were peppered all over his chest. It was too much, too soon, and he tried to push away but Soubi's arms were wrapped tightly around him.

Soubi's lips found a nipple and Ritsuka gasped. "Soubi!"

"Hmmm?" Soubi asked, tracing little circles around the hardening pink bud.

Ritsuka mentally kicked himself again. They were never going to get anywhere if he kept stopping them. He shivered as Soubi's hands trailed down his spine. "I'm cold."

Soubi's solution to this was to flip him over, and Ritsuka fell against the pillows and mattress. Soubi was laying on top of him, and Ritsuka's legs had fallen apart to allow the older man to settle between them. He could feel Soubi against him, and it made it hard to breathe.

Soubi was looking at him intently, and Ritsuka felt his gaze slipping to the side. He couldn't bear to look the other man in the eyes in such a position.

"I'll keep you warm," Soubi said, nuzzling against his neck.

Ritsuka closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath. Soubi was kissing lower and lower, forming a line down the center of his chest. When he reached the spot just above his belly button, Ritsuka gasped and tried to push him away.

"Ah, I found one did I?" Soubi asked, his warm breath teasing the area even more.

Ritsuka struggled to get away. "Not there…"

Soubi kissed the spot and Ritsuka stilled immediately, though his hands didn't stop trying to push him away. Soubi's tongue came out to dip into his belly-button before tracing a line of wetness upwards, causing Ritsuka to wiggle beneath him.

Soubi couldn't help but laugh. "I found your first 'spot,'" he announced happily. He ran his fingers over it, causing Ritsuka to jump. "I wonder where the other ones are?"

Ritsuka had to force his breathing even when he felt Soubi's hands on the button of his pants. He worked on calming himself and wondering if this was exactly how Soubi had felt yesterday. It drove him crazy to have Soubi's hands brush against the skin of his waist, to feel the fingers unzipping his fly. Soubi's lips were on him now, kissing his organ through the fabric of his boxers.

Ritsuka moaned, he couldn't help it. Everything was just too much and he felt his body temperature rising. Soubi, true to his word, was keeping him warm.

He lifted his hips and felt his jeans being stripped from his legs, and Soubi leaned back to pull them off of his feet. He held Ritsuka's legs in the air and ran his hands over the back of his calves. Ritsuka covered his face with his hands, unable to bear the idea of being exposed for Soubi to see.

Soubi leaned forward and let go of his legs, reaching up to grasp his wrists and pull them away from his face. He pinned his hands against the mattress and Ritsuka would not look at him, and a red flush washed over his cheeks. He kissed Ritsuka on the forehead gently.

"May I?" Soubi asked, his voice heated.

Ritsuka closed his eyes and nodded, unable to watch it happen but able to let it happen.

Soubi's hands were on his hips, and he was sliding the fabric down over them. Ritsuka took a deep breath and his boxers were being pulled over his thighs, then his knees, then over his feet. His socks were the last thing to go.

He risked a peek to see Soubi staring down at him, his eyes taking in every inch of exposed skin. He knelt between Ritsuka's legs and he felt suddenly aware of how vulnerable he was. Everything between his legs was on proud display for Soubi to do whatever he wanted, and Ritsuka's stomach was doing backflips at the thought of the older man touching him.

This was the moment, and nobody moved. Soubi seemed to be as if he was watching a train wreck, the anticipation paralyzed him to the bone. Ritsuka had forgotten to breathe.

He sat up, ever so slowly, and leaned forward so that he was close enough to kiss the older man. Soubi finally averted his attention to his face, and they looked at each other.

"Soubi…" Ritsuka breathed out, his own voice husky with desire and causing pangs of embarrassment. "Don't you want me?"

"More than anything," Soubi whispered.

Ritsuka leaned forward for a kiss.

"Ritsuka!" There was a pounding on the door and his mother's voice came through the wood. "Dinner! It's ready!"

Both men froze as they were, the magic draining from the moment.

"Are you coming?" his mother yelled again.

Ritsuka flopped back against the pillows, his hands coming up to claw through his hair in frustration and pulling out his ponytail. "I'll be right there!" he yelled back.

Soubi seemed to be in a state of shock.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuka mumbled, feeling terrible.

Soubi roused himself and smiled. "It can't be helped."

Ritsuka mentally kicked himself for what seemed like the one hundredth time. "God, I can't believe this…"

Soubi rose to grab his coat and slip out the door, but Ritsuka jumped to his feet and caught his arm. "Can you come back later? Or maybe I can come over?"

Soubi's eyes slid over to the alarm clock and he noted the time. "I had a date with Kio tonight. I promised that we could go drinking."

Ritsuka nodded and tried to hide the disappointment on his face. "I understand. Go have fun with Kio."

Soubi grabbed his coat and left out the balcony door, leaving a dazed and naked Ritsuka alone in his room.

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"Sou-chan!" Kio called, waving his arms wildly when he saw Soubi approaching their favorite bar. "You're late!"

Soubi went inside without a word, leaving Kio to look a bit dumbfounded. After a moment of hesitation, Kio followed him inside.

It was one of those small, intimate places that you find in the alleyways of Tokyo. Only sitting about a dozen, there were no waitresses to seat you or take your order. You literally yelled it over the counter where a middle-aged man would prepare your order and then put it up for you to come and get yourself.

Soubi and Kio sat down and yelled their orders.

Kio looked at Soubi skeptically. "What's wrong?"

Soubi looked at him, and a slow, dopey smile spread across his face. "I have seen the promised land."

Kio digested this for a moment. He realized he was sorely lacking in his knowledge of Western philosophy. He took a wild guess. " 'Tsuka-chan?"

Soubi's grin was answer enough.

Two tall glasses of Yebisu were plunked down onto the counter, and Kio rose to get them. Their appetizers would take a little longer.

"So I guess things are running along smoothly for the two of you again," Kio offered, hoping that Soubi would elaborate.

"Smooth…" Soubi repeated, his voice taking on that dreamy quality. His eyes were unfocused, as if he was not in the moment but had left his mind somewhere else.

"Sou-chan," Kio interrupted, his voice loosing patience. He held the forgotten glass of beer up to Soubi's lips. "Drink. Now."

Soubi grabbed the glass and downed a good portion of the frothy golden brew. It seemed to loosen his tongue and refresh his mind. "Let's just say that Ritsuka and I are taking grand steps in our relationship."

"Leaps and bounds?"

"Oh yes."

Kio smiled. "Well, let's drink to that."

Soubi lifted his glass and met Kio's.

"To 'Tsuka-chan's ears," Kio said, a devilish grin on his face.

"To Ritsuka's ears," Soubi repeated.

They downed most of their beers and Kio motioned to the bartender. "Another!"

"So before we get too smashed, how are things going with you and your new boyfriend, Kio?"

Kio smiled. "Peachy. We made our leaps and bounds a long time ago."

"I bet you did."


	8. Day 8

**How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days**

Day 8

By YaoiKitten

**For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.**

Mondays were excruciatingly long for Soubi. He had five classes to teach on Mondays with barely enough time to eat lunch or meet Ritsuka after school. He spent the entire morning behind his desk, trying to hide the obvious nature of his thoughts from his students. His mind was preoccupied, and he could barely keep his wits about him. He abandoned the idea of actually teaching during his first morning class and declared it an in-class work day.

His students were studiously working on their paintings in the studio, the easels set up in a circle more out of habit than any real desire to paint what was in the middle. The semester was well on its way and they were painting individual projects instead of collective subjects. The smell of oil and acrylic paints filled the room with noxious fumes that seemed to be generated from the paint-splattered concrete floor itself.

Soubi sat at his desk and stared off into space, his mind retracing the events of yesterday. Ritsuka panting. Ritsuka covering his eyes. Ritsuka naked with his legs spread. Ritsuka reaching up to give him that gentle kiss and that obvious question. Ritsuka pressed against the pillows, his whole body writhing underneath him.

Soubi was shaken out of his thoughts by one of his students. "Sensei, can you come and look at this?"

Soubi looked down at his lap. "Uhm… can you bring it here?"

The student brought her painting up to his desk. "Are you all right, sensei?"

He smiled. "I'm just a little exhausted from the weekend," he lied.

She showed him her painting, asked a litany of questions about color and composition and whether or not her subject was too much like Kara Walker's. All of this went over Soubi's head and he gave some half-hearted answer that seemed to appease her.

So the day went, a constant influx of students and questions and opinions and erections whenever he was left to his thoughts long enough. It was like being in high school all over again.

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He waited for Ritsuka after school. This was his final break of the day and after he returned to campus he would be in class until 10:30 that night. He breathed deeply and cleared his mind. He didn't want that I've-been-thinking-of-you-naked-all-day look on his face when Ritsuka got out of school.

The bell rang and he held his breath.

Kio had gotten him drunk enough to fall into bed the night before, otherwise he would have stayed up frustrated and awake. He was well rested today, and he had been fantasizing about keeping Ritsuka awake all night, making love to him multiple times before sending him exhausted and earless to school the next day. He knew it would never happen, but the thought refused to leave his brain.

Kio had been supportive, encouraging. Soubi was resolved to do whatever it took to make Ritsuka happy-- and if it would make Ritsuka happy to be pounded into the mattress, so much the better.

Soubi opened his eyes and his object of affection was standing before him. So much for the I-haven't-been-thinking-of-you-naked-all-day look, he thought.

Ritsuka's ears were flat against his head, and his eyes were narrowed and distrustful. The weather had turned bitterly cold the night before and he was wearing his toggle coat closed tight across his body. His messenger bag was a sash across his torso, and his jeans pooled over the top of his sneakers. Everything about him was distant and stand-offish, there was no trace of the vulnerable, naked boy that Soubi had seen yesterday.

Soubi looked to the sky and prayed for infinite patience from whatever deity would listen. Whatever had gotten into Ritsuka today he wasn't up to dealing with. He sighed and reached for a cigarette before he realized that he had quit. His hands fluttered over his coat looking for them out of habit, and it kept him from having to meet Ritsuka's eyes.

"Soubi."

Soubi looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka looked away, and it hurt. "I'm going home with Yuiko today. I figured since it is your late class…"

"I can walk with you guys to her house," he offered.

"No, we need to talk."

Soubi's heart sank. "We need to talk?"

"No," Ritsuka clarified. "Yuiko and I need to talk."

Soubi thought this over. At least it was better than them having to talk. A talk between lovers is never good. "Girl talk?" he teased, trying to lighten the situation.

Ritsuka glared. "Something like that."

Soubi sighed and turned away, walking in the opposite direction. "Fine," he called over his shoulder.

Ritsuka shifted from foot to foot as he watched him go. Soubi used every last bit of his will-power to keep walking.

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Ritsuka went back into the school to find Yuiko, and his feet dragged the floor ever so slightly. He hadn't felt this melancholy since middle school.

Yuiko was gathering her books together after cleaning up the classroom. She smiled when she saw him return. "Where's Soubi-san?"

"I told him to go ahead without me."

Yuiko blinked. "Why?"

"I just didn't want to deal with him today."

Yuiko chewed on her inner cheek, thinking this over. She buttoned her coat and put on her backpack before lacing her arm through Ritsuka's to pull him out the door.

"Where's Yayoi?" Ritsuka asked while they walked down the hall.

"He has cram school on Mondays," she replied.

Ritsuka allowed her to lead him out of the building. She waited until they were alone and out of ear-shot of everyone else before she started talking.

"Do you want to talk about what is going on with you and Soubi-san lately?" she asked.

Ritsuka had predicted this question, and had been anticipating it. He kept his eyes on the ground, examining every crack as it passed under his feet. "Not really."

"Then why are you walking home with me instead of Soubi-san?"

Ritsuka looked at her and she giggled that little-girl smile at him. Still the same Yuiko despite her becoming a woman before his eyes.

"So what is going on?" Yuiko asked, "You guys seemed to be getting along so well lately."

Ritsuka laughed bitterly. "Almost too well."

Yuiko looked at him, obviously confused.

Ritsuka shifted his bag over his hip so he wouldn't have to look at her when he said "We've become a lot more physical lately."

Yuiko reached out and touched his ears. "They're still real."

He batted her hand away. "I would never wear fake ears, unlike some kids."

She shrugged. "They do it because of their parents or they don't want to have the attention at school the next day."

"It is lying to yourself, betraying your lover, and lying to the world," Ritsuka said. "I prefer to live my life honestly."

"So what is the problem?" she asked.

Ritsuka took a deep breath. "He just left me there. He went out with Kio instead of finishing what he started…"

She blinked. "Huh?"

Ritsuka blushed and continued to stare at the ground. "We started…then we had to stop…my mom, she…so he left and wouldn't come back so that he could go drinking with Kio…"

"Did you get in trouble with your mom?" she ventured.

"No, she just knocked on the door. She didn't come in. Thank God, she has never even seen Soubi before, I can't imagine what would happen if she came in and saw him and I…like that."

She giggled at the thought. "I think she would figure it out real quick."

"Oh God, Yuiko, that is something that I never thought of before!"

"What's that?"

Ritsuka looked panicked. "If I don't have my ears anymore, how can I face my mom? She doesn't even know that I'm seeing anybody!"

Yuiko laughed to herself. "Then don't let him take them."

"I can't be a virgin all my life."

"So let him take them."

"But my mother…"

"Ritsuka," Yuiko interjected sharply. "You are being a woman. Stop it. Make up your mind."

Ritsuka fell silent beside her, mulling his options over in his head. He wasn't used to Yuiko, of all people, snapping at him.

"You just have to decide what is more important to you--keeping your mother's delusion of you being single or doing it with Soubi-san. Or fake ears. Take your pick."

"I want to do it with Soubi…" Ritsuka whispered, almost to himself.

"Huh?"

"Since when did you become so mature, huh?" Ritsuka challenged, not willing to clarify what he had said. "Who are you to give me relationship advice anyway?"

Yuiko looked momentarily stricken, then tears began to well up in her eyes. "I just… I just thought that… thought that maybe you…"

Ritsuka patted her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. Inside, he was relieved. She was still a baby, despite all of her grown-up talk. He would never admit to anyone that he had made her cry on purpose to reaffirm himself of that.

"You're right, I just needed to get it out. I still feel so unsure of everything that has been happening lately."

"Don't you love Soubi-san?"

Ritsuka pulled back as if he was bitten. "What?"

"Don't you love him?" Yuiko asked. She cocked her head to the side inquisitively. "You have been with him for about five years now. You have to love him."

"I guess I wouldn't put up with it if I didn't," Ritsuka agreed, though a bit begrudgingly.

Yuiko's eyes went wide, and her tears dried on her lower lashes. "You mean to tell me that you have never TOLD him that you loved him?"

"It… never came up?"

"Five years? Five years and it never came up?"

"Well, maybe once or twice…"

"And you never told him?"

Ritsuka scuffed the concrete with the toe of his sneaker.

"He's told you," she insisted.

"Yeah, he's told me. Since the first time we met me he told me."

She looked at him, all traces of the scolding that she had gotten earlier were gone. She was scolding him now. She spoke very slowly to make sure that her words got through. "Maybe if you told him, you wouldn't be so conflicted. I think once you tell him, your decision will become clear."

"He knows that I love him without me telling him…"

Yuiko shook her head sadly. "Ritsuka, now you are acting like a man. Stop it."

Ritsuka stood there, perplexed, what he should be acting like.

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The students were getting restless and Soubi was still fuming from his run-in with Ritsuka this afternoon. It was late, there was about half an hour left for class before they could all go home for the day. Teaching the late classes were exhausting, but since he was a new teacher they seemed to get pushed onto him. These were the students that had full-time jobs during the day and could only come to class in the evening. They were an older, more mature lot and he opted out of studio time in favor of a lecture. He needed to get his mind off of Ritsuka and found that teaching kept him busy enough. The studio had a lecture hall adjacent to it with tiered seats and a projector for images. It was still a beginner class, so he was doing art history--impressionism in the Western tradition, from Monet to Manet. It was the most basic of art lectures besides color theory.

He slid slides across the screen and paced around the platform. He wrote on the board, and he quoted passages from books. He got excited when he had a chance to mention rococo art, since it was his favorite. The students looked at him with their yawning faces and tried to stay awake while he stifled his own displays of sleep-deprivation.

He glanced at the clock, fifteen more minutes to go. Then Ritsuka walked in, and his world stopped.

Ritsuka had never, as far as he knew, ventured to his place of work. He wasn't even sure if he had ever set foot upon the campus before. It was a strange feeling to see the subject of his personal life in the setting of his career world. Somehow the two didn't seem to match, and Ritsuka was as glaringly out of place as one of Picasso's prostitutes would have been in Michelangelo's Cistine Chapel.

Ritsuka took a seat in the very back row of the lecture hall and smiled at him sweetly. Soubi could feel the glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose and he quickly pushed them back up. He continued with his lecture.

A couple of the students had noticed the newcomer in the back and shot him furtive glances between fervent note taking. Soubi hurried to finish up his lecture before dismissing the class five minutes early. A couple of the students came up to clarify something or ask another question, but eventually each one filed out the door.

Soubi and Ritsuka were alone in the room, Ritsuka was still seated and Soubi was still standing on the front platform. They looked at each other, and Ritsuka smiled that sweet little smile of his again.

"I came to pick you up for once," Ritsuka said.

Soubi turned away to gather up his things so that Ritsuka could not tell how pleased he was. "Won't your mom be mad if you break curfew?"

Ritsuka stood to meet him in the isle. "My mother is going to be mad about a lot of things from now on."

"What do you mean?" Soubi asked, reaching out and touching his upper arm. His fingertips lingered over the week-old wound there. "I don't want her to hurt you anymore."

"Soubi…" Ritsuka began, and they were walking out the door together. "You promised, didn't you?"

Soubi looked at him inquisitively.

Ritsuka's hair whipped around his face once they got outside. The temperature had dropped suddenly and the weather threatened to snow any day now. He pushed one side of his hair back with his hand so that he could look at Soubi.

"You promised to take my ears."

Soubi stopped mid-step, but Ritsuka continued going. Soubi hurried to catch up.

"I may have…"

"Don't pretend you don't remember it!" Ritsuka said, slapping at Soubi's arm with his hand. "You made a promise with me!"

"So what about it?" Soubi asked, treading carefully.

Ritsuka stopped and turned to him, but there were not enough street lights for Soubi to really see. "When are you going to fulfill it?"

"When I think you're ready."

Ritsuka stepped closer, so that they were only inches apart. The front of their coats kissed, and both of them shivered in the cold wind. "Don't you think I'm ready now?"

Soubi exhaled, and only then realized that he had been holding his breath. "Are you?"

Ritsuka took a deep breath and leaned into Soubi. Soubi instinctively wrapped his arms around the younger man. "Soubi, I… I l-love you and I want to be with you." His voice cracked when he said this.

Soubi's armed tightened around him, and Soubi could feel that strange tightness in his chest. He couldn't breathe and he felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He shut his eyes against them and buried his face in Ritsuka's hair. "I've waited so long to hear you say that…"

"I'm sorry that I waited so long," Ritsuka told him. His own tears were soaking through the front of Soubi's coat.

Soubi tilted Ritsuka's face upwards and kissed him, a deep, lengthy kiss that caused electricity to pass between him. There was power in this kiss, a deep electric hum that seemed to form a current through both of their bodies and warm them from the inside out. It was a bond, and they had just formed it.


	9. Day 9

**How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days**

Day 9

By YaoiKitten

**For Rahzel, for everything you've done for me and being a sweetheart about it.**

Ritsuka could not wait for school to be over, for the bell to ring, for him to be released. He couldn't concentrate on his school work, and his pen was kept tucked between his teeth the entire day. He went through three gnarled and mangled pens by lunchtime.

He was distracted, and no amount of pen mutilating seemed to help. He sat in the back of the class and took the writing utensil apart, spread the pieces out, and put them back together again and again. He doodled. He looked out the window. He watched the second hand go around the clock a million times. His mind swam, his gaze wandered, and no one ever noticed.

His thoughts inexorably returned to Soubi over and over. He would blush when he thought of his love confession the previous night. His stomach would tighten when he thought of how he was naked with Soubi the night before that. His heart would race when he thought about what might happen tonight.

Soubi only had morning classes. They would have the entire afternoon together. They would be alone, with no one to interrupt. They would be able to spend hours drawing the pleasure out of each other, forcing one another to the breaking point before having that last sharp intake of satiation.

The bell rang and Ritsuka was out of the room and down the hall just as most of the other students were beginning to leave their classrooms. He raced to his locker to retrieve his coat and shrugged into it on his way out the door.

Soubi was waiting for him, his white full-length fur coat fastened all the way up to his chin. Ritsuka threw himself into him and furry arms came around to pull him close.

"I missed you today," Ritstuka said, snuggling his cold nose into the fur.

Soubi laughed, and it was the best sound that Ritsuka had heard all day. "I'm glad. I missed you too."

They set off down the sidewalk, chatting happily about whatever came to mind and not caring where Yuiko and Yayoi were. They walked quickly, as if they had a destination that they both wanted to get to as soon as possible. They didn't discuss where they were going--both sets of feet were leading them to Soubi's apartment. They couldn't get there fast enough.

Soubi took out his keys and let them in. He was barely in the door before Ritsuka was pressed up against him, his arms wrapping around his neck and his lips rising to meet his. They kissed and held each other. Soubi's coat engulfed Ritsuka like a cloud of smoke.

The heat of the room got to them, and they began to divest each other of their outerwear. The shoes were kicked off in the _genkan_ and the coats made puddles on the floor. They didn't stop with the coats, and soon fingers were unbuttoning, unsnapping, untying, and just generally unclothing one another.

Ritsuka's fingers were working over Soubi's shirt buttons, but the two men would not stop kissing. They pressed their bodies together until clothes removal became impossible. Finally, Soubi lifted Ritsuka off the ground and led them over to the bed where they fell onto it, still kissing the entire way.

Soubi's pants were gone and Ritsuka's shirt was missing before they came up for air.

Ritsuka reached up and gingerly removed the glasses that were skewed across Soubi's face. He folded them neatly and slipped them into the breast pocket of Soubi's open shirt. Blonde hair was everywhere, and Ritsuka reached up to wipe it off his cheek.

They smiled at each other, and it was that conspiratorial smile of toddlers about to piss off mom. It was the smile that you gave family, the ones you actually liked and were glad to see. It was a smile reserved for friends that you haven't seen in a very long time. It was a smile that lovers used.

"Are you sure?" Soubi tried, one last time.

Ritsuka nodded and smiled, and from somewhere his brain provided him with the most cliché line he would ever catch himself using, "Just shut up and kiss me."

Soubi kissed him, and Ritsuka was pushing the shirt over Soubi's shoulders while he was trying to tug off Ritsuka's pants. They took turns when it wasn't working out, and they were both stripped to underwear and socks in a matter of minutes.

Explorative hands worked over muscles and silk fabric before Soubi leaned back to remove their socks. Ritsuka's hands were all over him, distracting him. They ran over his chest and stomach and brushed the front of his underwear.

Ritsuka loved to watch Soubi become flustered, and every touch became a tease. He watched as a blush spread across the other man's chest, staining the pale skin pink. He touched everything he could before Soubi was on him again, removing his underwear forcibly. Ritsuka reached out and began to slide his partner's underwear down over narrow hips before they got caught on the pointed erection underneath.

Ritsuka smiled and reached underneath, freeing Soubi from the confines of his boxers. Their skin touched for the first time, and a visible shudder ran through the older man.

"Touch me," Ritsuka whispered, and Soubi obliged. He wrapped his long fingers around the boy's erection and stroked carefully. Their fingers were slow and explorative, running up and down the length of each other. They kissed slowly, and their bodies seemed to melt into each other and find the exact way that they fit together.

They settled onto their sides so that they were facing each other. Their hands wandered all over every expanse of skin offered, their lips never parting but for the barest of breaths. Their legs intertwined and their bodies rose to meet the other with each stroke.

Ritsuka tipped his head back and let Soubi kiss down his throat. His eyes fluttered as he felt the passion build inside himself. All the heat seemed to be centered in his groin, spreading out into his torso and limbs from there. The feeling of Soubi kissing his Adam's apple was almost too much.

Soubi let out a soft moan against his neck when he squeezed him. Soubi felt so amazing between his fingers, the softest skin imaginable sliding between his hand. He memorized every curve, every vein until his shape was imprinted into Ritsuka's brain.

As Soubi's fingers raked over him lightly, it was driving Ritsuka mad. It was enough pressure to tease, but not enough to really please. Ritsuka's hips bucked forward, but Soubi barely acknowledged the boy's insistent motion. He smiled and kept moving slowly until Ritsuka whimpered in frustration.

That was Soubi's cue, and he was rolling his partner onto his back. He was kissing his way down that lithe body, taking time to kiss all over his stomach and sides. He left little red marks on the boy's hips, and his mouth was working over the tops of his thighs.

Ritsuka felt his breath speeding up until he thought it might carry him away. Soubi was so close, so maddeningly close. He reached down and laced his fingers through Soubi's hair, rubbing the strands over his stomach and between his hands. He could feel him working on his inner thighs now, kissing and suckling at the most delicate of areas right below his groin. He gasped when Soubi sucked at his inner thigh particularly hard, and his hands fisted into the silk comforter.

Ritsuka gasped and slowed his breathing down, trying to focus on something else in the room instead of Soubi kissing up and down his inner thigh. He was certain that the man was doing it just to drive him crazy, and he wanted to get on with it. Easy for Soubi to take his time--he had experienced all this before. For Ritsuka, this was his first and he couldn't wait any longer.

Soubi's lips were kissing the tip of his erection before he knew it, and Ritsuka felt a current run up his spine. Soubi was getting the very first taste, sucking down that clear bead of fluid resting on the tip of him. The world seemed to narrow down--from the entire room to just the bed, from the bed to just the two of them. Ritsuka felt every point of contact that Soubi made with him.

Soubi's lips were soft and loose as he took him in, wetting the shaft with his tongue so that he could slide down easier. Ritsuka was squirming beneath him, and he could feel the other boy's erratic heartbeat through the organ in his mouth. The blood was pulsing through, over his tongue and between his cheeks. He closed his eyes and felt the current that ran through Ritsuka, an audible electricity that seemed to pass between them in only the most intimate of moments.

Ritsuka's head rocked from side to side on the pillow. His tongue kept darting out to lick his suddenly dry lips and his fingers were knotting in Soubi's hair. His entire being was being compressed into the space between his thighs, that Soubi was caressing his tongue.

He could not even think of coming, not with Soubi nestled so comfortably between his thighs. The older man suckled at him like the most contented of lover, and Ritsuka found himself overwhelmed. Again his eyes seeked something to latch onto, something to take his mind away. This was too much, too fast, and he realized that his body didn't know how to take it. He relaxed into the mattress, letting all the energy drain out of his body and letting his eyes flutter closed.

Soubi's rhythm became soothing, and he was loosing himself to the waves of pleasure that he caused. Ritsuka rode them out until he felt his muscles loosening. He sighed and moaned each time the tip of him touched the back of Soubi's throat. He felt the orgasm building up inside now, and he started to try to pull away.

Soubi glanced up at him, a flash of blue eyes before he wrapped his arms securely around Ritsuka's thighs and hips with no intention of letting go. He kept up his pace.

"Soubi, let go. I'm gonna… Soubi please."

Soubi ignored him.

Ritsuka's hips bucked up and he felt himself spilling over, hot liquid coursing through his urethra to spill down Soubi's throat. The older man held still while Ritsuka pulsed every last drop out. Only then did Soubi lean back, his tongue flicking across his lips followed by a swipe of his hand. Ritsuka was lying beneath him, panting.

"So how are you?" he asked. He sat on the bed next to Ritsuka, letting his hand wander over the other man's stomach.

Ritsuka blinked, trying to make sense of the question. "I'm good… I think."

Soubi smiled down at him.

Ritsuka sat up and ran his fingers through his hair a couple times, working out any tangles caused by the pillow. His whole body was flushed and heated, his erection had partially softened and it rolled against his thigh when he moved. He looked at Soubi, his eyes narrowing, his ears parting down the middle.

"What?" Soubi asked.

Ritsuka pounced on him. They went down in a giggling fit and a tangled mass of limbs. Ritsuka was kissing and biting everything that came his way, and he was moving downward.

Soubi sat back up. "Ritsuka, you don't have to…"

It was too late, the younger man had already settled into his lap. Ritsuka looked up at him, that small, angelic smile played across his face. Soubi's heart stopped with that look, and he held his breath as Ritsuka's tongue flicked out to taste the warmth of his flesh.

Soubi sighed as Ritsuka continued to lick at him in small strokes, then longer ones. Ritsuka swirled his tongue around the head, then worked his lips over the hard shaft. He wet as much as he could going down, as Soubi had done, before he came back up again.

He glanced up to see Soubi's eyes closed in silent concentration. Ritsuka settled into a rhythm, the same as Soubi--up and down, up and down. It was really easy once his throat loosened enough and the gag reflex went away. He wrapped his arms around Soubi's waist and pulled himself even closer.

Soubi gasped and tried to push him away. Ritsuka, afraid that maybe he was doing something wrong, allowed himself to be pushed back. He watched as Soubi closed his eyes and pinched the tip of his penis, his whole body shaking.

"Are you all right?" Ritsuka asked. His ears were pricked forward in curiosity.

"Just trying not to come…"

Ritsuka nodded, wondering if the pinching was really helping. After a moment Soubi offered him a sly smile and put his hands on Ritsuka's shoulder, pushing the boy back on the bed. Ritsuka's eyes widened when he realized what Soubi had in mind. He had read about this, and had tried to mentally prepare himself for it.

Soubi laid out next to him and reached under the pillows, fishing around for something. He pulled out a tube a moment later and held it up for Ritsuka to see. "Is this okay?"

Ritsuka swallowed, and nodded.

"If you want me to stop at any time, just tell me and I will."

Another nod.

Soubi spread the lubricant over his index and middle fingers with his thumb before he reached between Ritsuka's legs. Ritsuka spread his thighs wider and he could feel Soubi reach behind his scrotum, searching out the little opening there.

Ritsuka tensed when Soubi found it and he felt the slick substance being spread over his anus. He closed his eyes and breathed, feeling the tickling of Soubi's fingers on him. Slowly, Soubi began to press in with his index finger. Ritsuka hissed.

Soubi leaned over and kissed the boy's closed eyelids, whispering against them. "I know it hurts," he said. "It burns right now, I know."

And it did burn a little, but Ritsuka could quickly feel himself adjusting. Another second and Soubi had his middle finger in as well, and he was stretching Ritsuka apart. That hurt worse, and Ritsuka was fisting his hands in the sheets, his teeth clenched together. Soubi was whispering soothing things in his ear--how he knew how uncomfortable it was, how good Ritsuka was doing, how much he loved him--but none of them reached the boy.

Just when Ritsuka felt that it was finally over, Soubi was positioning himself between his legs. His eyes snapped open and the blood drained from his face. He watched as Soubi prepared himself, then began to push in.

Ritsuka screamed, a deep, guttural sound between an "ow" and an "ah."

"It's okay," Soubi told him, leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Ritsuka's back was arched, and Soubi was relying on gravity to do most of the work for him. He pushed in a little again.

"It hurts," Ritsuka whimpered, and tears came to his eyes and flowed down his cheek. They ran down into his hair and his ears, but he wouldn't reach up to wipe them away.

"Do you want me to stop?" Soubi asked, clearly worried.

"Try again," Ritsuka commanded stubbornly, and shut his eyes for the worst.

Soubi teetered on the edge for a moment, not sure what he should do. He pressed in experimentally, letting only his head just barely breach that tiny opening. Ritsuka's eyes snapped open and locked onto him. They were so shiny with tears, and Soubi wanted to pull back out.

Instead, he pressed in.

"Stop!" Ritsuka begged, the burning becoming too much for him. "I can't… we can't…"

Soubi looked down. He had barely even gotten in.

"It's all right," he said, lying down next to Ritsuka and pulling the sobbing boy into his chest. "It's all right. It will take some getting used to. Your body has to adjust. We can try again if you feel like it."

Ritsuka nodded, but he wasn't sure that he ever would.

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Ritsuka leaned out of the bathtub precariously, trying to get a good look at himself in the mirror over the sink. His tail and bum hovered just above the bubbles as he leaned, and Soubi found himself reaching out to pat it.

"Why aren't they gone?" Ritsuka asked, watching his ears twitch in the mirror. All that, and they weren't even broken. You'd think they'd at least be broken or something.

Soubi coughed delicately. "We have to…uhm…go all the way…"

Ritsuka gave him a look. "Penetration?" he asked, proving how adult he was in his own mind.

"Yeah. They won't fall off unless you are penetrated or do the penetrating. Since we didn't go all the way…"

Ritsuka scowled at the reflection in the mirror. "How does that work? I mean, how does your body know the difference?"

"Maybe it is a mental thing?" Soubi offered. He grabbed onto Ritsuka's wrist and pulled the boy back down into the water. Ritsuka mumbled something and cuddled into his chest. "Don't worry about it, we have time."

Ritsuka nodded, but he just wanted to hurry up and get it over with.


	10. Day 10

**How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days**

Day 10

By YaoiKitten

Soubi had a case of déjà vu on Wednesday when Ritsuka came to pick him up after work. They had not talked about it, and it was completely unplanned when he entered the classroom a few minutes before the end of class. They were in the studio this time. While the students painted Soubi walked around the room and monitored their progress.

He had met up with Ritsuka after school earlier that day and they had walked home with Yuiko and Yayoi. The four of them chatted amiably. Soubi and Ritsuka had worked out a lot of their frustration the day before so there was a calmness between them that even Yuiko picked up on. It was like a too taut string that had been stretched between them had finally snapped and all the tension had drained away. They walked with their hands comfortably interlocked.

Soubi had caught Ritsuka looking at him several times out of the corner of his eye, but whenever he turned his head the other man quickly looked away. This became a game that they played, and Soubi had been able to catch Ritsuka's eye once or twice before he could turn his head. He felt like a flirty teenager again--like they were oh-so-in-love!

And they were. Soubi didn't have to wonder how Ritsuka felt about him. He didn't have to wonder if he was pushing the other boy too far or if he was becoming tiresome. Soubi, for the first time in his life, felt secure in a relationship. He finally knew where he stood, and it was like a weight was lifted off his chest that he never knew was there.

Yayoi and Yuiko had parted from them and Soubi finished walking Ritsuka the rest of the way home. They said goodbye at the gate with a lengthy kiss. There was no mention of Ritsuka coming to see him later, and that was why Soubi was so surprised to see him show up in the classroom.

Ritsuka looked around a bit uncertainly, trying to ascertain if it was all right for him to be in the room. Soubi smiled and motioned him over. Ritsuka gratefully made his way through the forest of easels to him. He wrapped an arm around Ritsuka's waist to pull him into a little half-hug and land a kiss on the top of his head.

Ritsuka blushed as the students stared at him.

"Sensei, is this your boyfriend?" one girl asked, her eyes shining with barely contained giggles.

"This is Ritsuka," Soubi introduced. No explanation, just a name, no suffix.

Ritsuka cringed, his blush deepening as he felt the class measuring him up with their eyes. Very few of them had their ears, and Ritsuka could feel his own twitching as a constant reminder of their existence.

Soubi looked at the clock. "We are out of time, everyone put your painting on the rack and start cleaning up."

While the students cleaned up Soubi gathered his own things.

"Couldn't you have handled that a little better?" Ritsuka hissed.

"What should I have done?" Soubi asked. "You are my boyfriend, aren't you?"

Ritsuka's eyes slid to the side. Soubu sighed. They would have to work on this.

"Yes," Ritsuka finally said.

"Should I have lied? Should I have denied it?'

"No…"

Soubi looked at him pointedly. "You were the one who came here, y'know."

"You were the one to kiss me."

"I was happy to see you."

"I was happy to see you too."

They stopped arguing with that.

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Much to their credit, they actually managed to leisurely walk home and have dinner first before they reached Soubi's apartment. The night was bitterly cold, so they stopped at a late-night café to have some coffee and a bite to eat.

"So, what excuse did you give your mother to let you stay out this late tonight?" Soubi had asked over a cup of steaming coffee.

Ritsuka sipped at his own cup. "I told her that I am spending the night with Yayoi."

Soubi looked up at that, the surprise apparent on his face. "But you are planning on spending the night with me?" Soubi wanted to be clear on this.

"Yeah, I thought we could…" Ritsuka left the thought trailing in the air. His cheeks were red from the cold, and he looked at Soubi through lowered lashes. He was playing coy.

Soubi burst into laughter, resting his head on folded arms and laughing until tears streamed down his face.

"What's so funny?" Ritsuka asked defensively.

Soubi sat up and wiped at his eyes with a napkin. "Ritsuka, sweetheart," he said through giggles, "if you come home tomorrow without your ears, your mother is going to think that _Yayoi_ took them!"

Ritsuka blanched at the thought. "My God…"

Soubi was still laughing, and it didn't take long for Ritsuka to join him. "What am I going to do?" he asked through his laughter.

Soubi smiled and reached out, running his fingers through Ritsuka's hair. "We'll just take things as they come, and worry about something when the time arrives."

Ritsuka wiped the tears from his eyes. "Yeah."

Soubi's apartment wasn't far from the café. They hurried into the sauna-like heat of Soubi's apartment. The lights came on and illuminated the room, the glass doors that led to the balcony were frosted with condensation. Soubi sat his things down and immediately began to get ready for bed. This was the schedule that he was used to, and he didn't see any need to alter it because Ritsuka was spending the night.

Ritsuka watched as Soubi went to the sink and started to brush his teeth. He had brought his messenger bag with his school books and had put on the clothes that he was going to wear the next day. He had thrown his toothbrush in at the last minute, and that was the only thing he had brought with him. He pulled it out and joined Soubi at the sink, standing side by side and looking at each other in the mirror as they brushed.

Soubi smiled inwardly at such a simple picture of intimacy. He realized that after Ritsuka graduated, he should probably have the boy move in with him. Ritsuka had already applied to the college where he taught, it made perfect sense to live together.

He would keep these thoughts to himself for tonight.

He finished and turned down the bed, grabbing a few extra pillows from the closet. He would learn lots of things about Ritsuka tonight--does he like one pillow or two, does he sleep on his back or his stomach, will he snore like a kitten?

When he turned around Ritsuka was standing next to the bed, his arms crossed over his stomach. His hands twisted in the hem of his shirt. Soubi couldn't help but smile.

He crossed over and wrapped his arms around Ritsuka, pulling the boy into a tight embrace. "We don't have to do that tonight if you don't want to."

Ritsuka shook his head and reached up to press a kiss against Soubi's neck, directly against the bandage he always kept there. "I want to."

That was all the encouragement Soubi needed before he was kissing him, desperately and hungrily thrusting his tongue into the boys mouth until he couldn't breathe. Ritsuka came away panting and out of breath.

Ritsuka's sweater was the first thing to come off, then Soubi's black turtleneck. They moved slowly as they undressed each other, letting their eyes wander over the other's torso--taking in all the scars between them. Ritsuka reached up and unsnapped the little butterfly clips so that Soubi's bandage was coming unraveled. Inch by inch of skin was exposed until there was nothing left and the two men stood belly to belly, kissing but not embracing.

Then their fingers began to wander; they explored the curves and planes of the other's body. Their fingers traced over hardened scar tissue and English words, creamy nipples and tightened testicles. Every inch was explored until they had imprinted an image as detailed as a lithograph in their brains.

Ritsuka's head titled back and he smiled as Soubi kissed down his neck and chest. Soubi's arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him even closer, rubbing the expanse of their bodies together. It was amazing how they fit together.

Soubi leaned into him, guiding Ritsuka to sit back on the bed while he kneeled on the floor. He lifted one of Ritsuka's legs and began to kiss down it, along the inner thigh, over the knee, and down the calf. Ritsuka's breath caught in his throat when Soubi kissed the arch of his foot, delicate little butterfly kisses that tingled more than they should.

Soubi watched as Ritsuka leaned back on his elbows and his lips parted slightly. He took the time to admire Ritsuka's aroused look, noting that he would probably never again see that face combined with those ears. He implanted this image into his brain, a photographic memory just for him.

His hand found Ritsuka's tail and stroked down it, bringing the furry appendage up to his lips. In his passion yesterday he had been unable to appreciate the fleeting beauty and sensuality of Ritsuka's ears and tail, but he wasn't about to let this last opportunity pass him tonight.

"Soubi, what are you---" Ritsuka began, watching Soubi kiss his tail and rub his cheek against the soft fur.

Soubi leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He kissed at the velvety kitty ears, enjoying the feel of them twitching beneath his lips. His bit onto the tip of one lightly, and Ritsuka gasped.

"Soubi, stop that…"

He complied, kissing Ritsuka and running his hands up behind his head, through his hair and up to scratch at the furry ears. Ritsuka purred into his mouth, and Soubi thought that he would come right there.

He pulled away.

It was hard to appreciate the beauty of someone that you see day in and day out. Ritsuka had become such an integral part of his life that at some point he had stopped admiring the little things that made Ritsuka beautiful. In a moment like this he was able to focus on the things that his mind would typically gloss over--the exact lavender shade of Ritsuka's eyes, the little wrinkles his nose gets whenever he is confused, the newly-discovered birth mark on the back of Ritsuka's thigh, the incredibly long lashes that most girls would be envious of.

And then there was the erotic--the blush of Ritsuka's skin, the way he parted his lips just ever so slightly, the languid look that would come into his almond eyes.

Soubi wanted to treasure all of these things just as much as he wanted to be inside of him.

The younger man leaned back and pulled Soubi down with him. He settled comfortably on top of him, kissing his way down that body taut with desire at his very touch. Ritsuka strained against his kisses while leaning into them at the same time, as if his body didn't even know what it wanted, or wanted to pull away and get closer at the same time.

Soubi kissed down the boy's body, stopping around the naval to scatter kisses all over his stomach and hips. Ritsuka whimpered with each kiss, urging Soubi to continue and stop at the same time.

When Soubi finally reached the juncture between his legs, he ignored the erection in front of him in favor of the testicles and the secret patch of skin behind them. Ritsuka's hands fisted into the sheets and his hips bucked forward as Soubi kissed and licked those ignored areas. He took the opportunity to grab a pillow and shove it under Ritsuka's hips to give him easier access. Ritsuka's thighs fell open wider in compliance.

The smell of Ritsuka was intoxicating, and Soubi happily burried his face into the peach-fuzzed recesses of his sex. He couldn't see his face, but he hoped that the boy was a little embarrassed, a little over the edge, and entirely wanton in his desire for Soubi to do more.

"I'm going to have to open you up, so please bear with me. If I do this well, it will hurt a lot less."

Soubi couldn't see his nod of consent.

With his hands he exposed the cleft of Ritsuka's buttocks. The tail twitched at the sensation, brushing against his face until he tucked it aside. He was able to see the little opening there, pink and tight to the touch. He leaned forward experimentally and ran his tongue along the little bud, and heard Ritsuka gasp.

Ritsuka closed his eyes and lifted his hips off the bed a little more, allowing Soubi better access. It was so degrading, but felt amazing. Soubi had even promised him that it would help it hurt less…

His thoughts blurred into incoherency once Soubi started working on him. He could feel the intrusion and it sent shocks through his stomach and bowels. His insides felt like they were going to leap out of his skin, and his focus returned to Soubi's tongue again and again. It didn't hurt like other things did, and the mild intrusion and wetness soon had him thrusting his hips with the movement.

He opened his eyes and looked down, but all he could see was the top of Soubi's blonde head and the pre-come weeping down his own erection. He sighed and tried to relax as much as possible, letting Soubi take control of him. He could feel one finger slipping inside of him, then two.

Soubi took his time preparing him, being very careful to loosen Ritsuka up step by step. He had been reading about the best way in the book he had found on Ritsuka's nightstand, so he made sure that he had everything ready. He used generous amounts of lubrication when he fingered the boy open, scissoring to stretch him wide.

Ritsuka was whimpering, shutting his eyes tightly against the sensations. Soubi wanted to ask if he was okay, but he didn't want to break whatever reverie the boy had found himself in. If they stopped now, they probably wouldn't begin again.

Soubi took pity on him and brought his fingers together, hooking them and making small thrusting motions.

Ritsuka's eyes snapped open and he gasped. He bit his lower lip and moved his hips in time with Soubi's fingers, his face and chest flushed bright red. Soubi watched in amazement. Who was this sexually-mature man in front of him, so comfortable with the pleasures of the body? What had happened to his abrasive, resistant boy that had constantly pushed him away these last five years?

He judged Ritsuka ready and climbed on top, settling between his legs. Ritsuka's eyes were open, but he wasn't looking at him. His neck was craned towards the window.

"Soubi, look. It's snowing."

Soubi looked out the window and saw the snow falling through the glass. A thin layer of it had settled on the balcony like dust on an antique. "So it is."

Ritsuka turned to him. "Soubi…I want you."

Soubi smiled and brought the boys hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles. "You have me."

"I want more than that."

Soubi nodded his agreement. His own erection was nestled comfortably against Ritsuka's, but there was still this underlying, burning need that would not go away. "Fast or slow?"

"What will hurt worse?"

"They are about the same."

Ritsuka thought about it. "Slow."

Soubi nodded and wiped the last remains of lubricant from his fingers over the head of his penis. He hooked his arms around Ritsuka's knees, lifting the boys hips up so that he could angle himself inside. The tip of him touched that slickened opening, and he pressed forward.

Ritsuka shuddered and cried out, covering his mouth with his hands. Soubi gave him time, let him adjust. He pushed in so slowly, centimeter by centimeter before he could steal an inch.

Ritsuka's eyes were closed tightly and his hands were clamped over his mouth. Soubi moved slowly, and a couple minutes later he was halfway in. "You have to relax, Ritsuka, or I can't go any further."

Ritsuka opened his eyes and nodded, taking his hands away from his mouth to get a couple shuddering breaths. He breathed deeply.

"That's right, feel your breath moving though that area, relaxing the muscles. Good, that's good." Soubi could feel Ritsuka relaxing. He waited, then pushed.

He breached that last barrier, that final ring of muscle that kept him out. He pushed all the way and immediately felt Ritsuka tighten around him, but he didn't cry out.

"Are you all right?" Soubi asked, rocking forward to kiss Ritsuka on his open lips. "Does it still hurt?"

Ritsuka nodded, his forehead wrinkled in concentration.

Soubi gave him a minute to adjust. "I'm going to move now."

Ritsuka nodded and tried to keep his breathing even.

Soubi started by rocking against him, his hips sliding against Ritsuka's buttocks slowly. He was being so careful not to pull past that tightened barrier, only moving back an inch or two before rocking forward again. Ritsuka was arching into him, finding his own rhythm, his own special spots.

Soubi watched as the tension drained from Ritsuka's face and it was replaced with the smallest of smiles. Just a little turn of the lip and Soubi knew that they were going to be okay, that Ritsuka was going to be able to enjoy having this level of intimacy in their relationship.

Soubi leaned forward and was kissing Ritsuka's neck when he felt himself ready to come. He reached down quickly and began to stroke Ritsuka's erection in time with his thrusts. He increased the speed and the length of the movement, and Ritsuka was gasping and moaning loudly beneath him.

Ritsuka's arms wrapped around Soubi's shoulders and he rode it out, feeling every last ounce of his reserve building up and waiting to be released. "God, Soubi, I'm going to come."

Just hearing those words were enough for Soubi, and he was gone. He tensed and felt himself pouring out into that warm body beneath him. He gave a few final thrusts before he felt Ritsuka pouring over his hand, warm congealed liquid that formed webbing between his fingers.

And just like that Ritsuka was out of it. His breathing slowed and he was asleep, and Soubi knew that nothing he could do would wake him. He pulled his softening penis out of the boy and went to take a shower He pulled the comforter up over the boy, and left him alone on the bed.

He let the hot water pour over him and wash away every trace of sex. He knew that Ritsuka would be out for at least an hour, then he would wake up without his ears and tail. Soubi was going to clean up Ritsuka the best he could, then run a hot bath when he awoke. Most of all, he was going to be there when Ritsuka finally opened his eyes, and he was going to be the first thing that Ritsuka saw as an adult.

**The End**

_And on the tenth day, Ritsuka lost his ears. Finally._


End file.
